From a very young age because of circumstances in my life causing me to be rejected by my family, I have spent a lot of time alone. Introspective by nature anyway, this solitude caused me to think deeply about the meaning of my life and my place in this world. Instinctively, my world view pushed towards the mystical, and in my need for friendship and connection, I reached out to the world itself…and it answered me!
From walking the streets of Paris by day and night for countless hours, I came to understand that all of matter (animate or inanimate) is alive, connected, and intelligent. The nature of reality is unique, not dual.
Yet we live in a human world in which everything is divided into categories, good and bad, dark or light. We either belong, or we don’t. However, this point of view is born in fear and causes endless suffering. All of our wars, political parties, national boundaries and identities as well as religious dogma are born of this concept of separation.
For quite some time, I have been interested in reading accounts of NDEs, or Near Death Experiences. In Anita Moorjani’s autobiographical book, “Dying to Be Me: My Journey from Cancer to Near Death, to True Healing”, 2013, she recounts her experiences with stage 4 lymphoma, the shutdown of all of her organs, and her miraculous healing after a near death experience in a coma.
On page 108, Ms. Moorjani explains that following her bodily healing, she felt different from friends and family. She no longer felt concerned by daily routines or dramas, yet she was drawn as never before to nature, to the world around her. Her experiences are so close to my own that I found myself struck with the similarities of her conclusions about the nature of life and reality (also about loneliness and being misunderstood) as I read. Here is a short excerpt relating some of her impressions about duality and unity relative to human experience and the nature of reality:
“Whenever I had conversations about illness, politics, or death, my views were so radically different because of my experience that I simply couldn’t involve myself in the topics. I began to realize that my ability to judge and discern had become “impaired”. I was no longer to draw definite distinctions between what was good or bad, right or wrong, because I wasn’t judged for anything during my NDE. There was only compassion, and the love was unconditional. I still felt that way toward myself and everyone around me. “
She continues to talk about people who commit acts of cruelty, inflicting suffering on others:
“So I found myself with nothing but compassion for all the criminals and terrorists in the world, as well as their victims. I understood in a way I never had before that for people to commit such acts, they must really be full of confusion, frustration, and self-hatred. A self-actualized and happy individual would never (in italics in text) carry out such deeds! People who cherish themselves are a joy to be around, and they only share their love unconditionally. In order to be capable of such crimes, someone had to be (emotionally) diseased – in fact, much like having cancer.”
I agree wholeheartedly with Ms. Moorjani, and I have had a lot of personal experiences with people who have done their utmost to hurt me, exclude me, beat me down physically and emotionally, rob me of my money and my peace. Yet I continue to believe, as does Ms. Moorjani, that our true nature is love and to share that love. I also agree with her opinion that by fighting crime and criminals, by fighting terrorists, for example, we are driving even deeper the wedge between individuals and nations, and reinforcing duality rather than the love that unites us all.
“However, I saw that those who have this particular type of “mental” cancer are treated with contempt in our society, with little chance of receiving any practical help for their condition, which only reinforces their condition. By treating them in this way, we only allow the “cancer” in our society to grow. I could see that we haven’t created a society that promotes both mental and physical healing.”
Ms. Moorjani emphasizes how her fear of life and of being herself, in other words, her lack of self love, reinforced from childhood by family, culture, and the various social experiences she encountered all contributed to her experiencing the nearly mortal illness.
If we could each learn to love and embrace the beauty of our individual self, of our talents…If only we could learn to embrace life as an experiencing of being, rather than doing or achieving…we would eliminate much of the fear, frustration, anger, and self-hatred that Ms. Moorjani deplores.
Yet our entire cultures and societies around the world, regardless of religion and world view, are all built on the basis of duality, on a morality which divides us and twists us between fear and desire. It is time for us to learn to embrace our true nature, which is love. With love, we connect, we illuminate, we feel wonder at ourselves, and we enjoy life and one another. We protect our environment and enjoy the beauty which is life and nature. Nature is not cruel. She is balanced. We are cruel with our morality and duality, and it is killing us. It is never to late to heal, however. Today is a good time to start loving yourself!