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Healing from image addiction

rainbow body 2

Dearest readers,

As we move deeper into the ascension process, awakening from thousands of years of trauma, mind control, psychic attacks, and inter-generational familial and institutional emotional, mental, and physical abuse and neglect, it is time to take stock.

All human beings across the planet are deeply wounded on multiple levels and dimensions. It is time to heal those wounds. The conditioning of the human being to live in constant fear, hatred of self and others, and in a system of separation where we are taught to constantly judge self and others is coming to an end. But abuse and inter-generational trauma don’t just disappear.


On social media, so many people – men, women, and children, pretend to live “happy” lives. Creating images of perfection, of beauty, of happiness that are intended to impress others. Displaying designer bodies, homes, clothes, hair, make-up. Trying to impress others with money, power, success. What I see are deep wounds, insecurity, pain, and fear of abandonment. Lack of self-love and the inability to see that our power lies within. The conditioned human being sees perfection outside of the natural self. So many young women run after relationships with inappropriate partners who have nothing to offer, neglecting their own children and perpetuating the cycle of abuse, neglect, and lack.

lonely library

I have written many times on this blog about codependency, which is the norm of relationship in a dysfunctional, dualistic world where everyone is polarized. Rising to a higher level of consciousness means taking responsibility for self and for our own healing. Unity consciousness means that everything and everyone are equally important, and there is no longer any judgment because perfection is innate and is not something to be acquired, worked for, or given by someone else. In unity consciousness, we no longer give away our power to authority figures, to romantic partners, to doctors or healers, or to religious leaders. No one is higher than self, and no one else is more or less important than self. In unity, there is harmony. No one need get offended by any comment, and there is no need to be “liked” or “followed” by anyone as we express our inner truths.


Many people still do not realize that humanity has been and is still enslaved to a power that uses sophisticated technologies to track our every move, to control our thoughts and our emotions. Negative, self-defeating thoughts as well as violent, aggressive thoughts are planted intentionally in our consciousness that we may react to them and cause more harm and fear in the world. Our water, soil, food supplies have been purposefully contaminated to poison our bodies and our minds. We are surrounded by electromagnetic frequencies which interrupt our connection to the Earth and to the divine. Every effort has been made to disempower us and to disconnect us from our true selves. The awakening is a process of remembering who we truly are and how powerful we are.


These thousands of years, perhaps millions of years, of slavery, abuse, torture, and emotional manipulation have deeply scarred the human psyche. Today, we suffer from physical ailments as well as mental and emotional disease. We are weakened and exhausted from the constant stress of living in separation, poverty, lack of emotional support, lack of love, and lack of a healthy environment. It is very distressing to think that many still believe that this is the only reality, clinging to this dysfunctional artificial system of torture.

beautiful bird

It is up to each of us to wake up and to take charge of our own healing and our own lives, and to imagine New Earth – the sort of place and reality in which we want to live, raise our children, and thrive. Human consciousness is so extremely powerful, yet we are very emotionally sensitive beings. Taking charge of our emotions and healing our emotional bodies, I believe, is key to help humanity move out of the bondage of the lower realms and its overlords. Beautiful, radiant jewels of light are the essence of our true being. We are the energy of love, but we have been taught to survive in darkness, never seeing our own light. Taught to reach for stars that are artificial and that would burn us if we could ever reach the image of perfection that is dangled before us, while we crash and burn behind the scenes, suffering from addictions, eating disorders, bullying and self-harming, neglect and abuse of those whom we should love and cherish.

Self-love is the key to recovery. Turn off TVs, computers, hand-held devices. Go into nature and sit quietly. Remember who you are. You are beautiful. You are powerful. You are a creator of any reality in which you want to live. It’s time to thrive.




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Women and self-love

frances cannon art

Dearest readers,

Why is it so easy to love a dog, a cat, a flower, even a dress, a tree but so hard to love yourself? Why are humans so hard to love?

Women always talk about looking for love, but love is not something that exists outside of self. The nature of reality is love, because love is creative energy. When we give our power away, we also give away our power to create. When we go looking for love outside of ourselves, we give away our ability to love self and others in an authentic way.


So it comes back to one simple fact. Almost all human beings, whether or not it is conscious or admitted, think that there is something missing from their lives and from their reality. That happiness is always around the corner but not present with them in each moment.

It is by changing this perception of reality and by realizing that we actually create our experience of reality with every breath, every thought, every emotion that we feel that shifts our ability to be happy and to love and accept our self as we are right now.

Women spend fortunes on potions, creams, make-up, clothes, plastic surgery in order to “improve” on the way they look and to improve their prospects to attract “love” and to preserve their youth. All of this is a waste of resources and energy.

rosie by tim okamura

When we love ourselves, we look radiant. When we are in love with self (not in a narcissistic way, but in a compassionate way), we give thanks for the opportunity to be on Earth exactly as we are, right now. I regularly thank the cells in my body, even the water in my body, and for the opportunity to be on Earth at this special time in human history – as we shift from duality and a lower level of consciousness based on ego and separation into a reality based on unity, love of self and others, respect, peace, balance, harmony, and joy.

frida kahlo

Women spend so much time and energy speculating about relationships and why and how a love interest behaves the way they do. If we love ourselves and honor and respect our own boundaries as well as those of others, we clearly discern whether or not we are being treated as we deserve to be treated. What does it feel like to be loved and respected? The answer is simple. It feels easy and it feels good. There is no conflict, no duality, no wondering as to whether or not he or she will or should call or treat us to this or that. When we give ourselves what we need to be happy, and when we set clear boundaries, everything else is icing on the cake, and other people automatically earn the right to be themselves too.

helen frankenthaler

Self-love and self-care are so important in the times in which we are living. It is challenging to heal from the post-traumatic stress caused by millennia of harsh conditioning, imposed negativity, isolation, and abuse. But it is up to us, both women and men, to learn to love and honor ourselves, to open our hearts, and to take full responsibility for our lives.

Animals and plants are easy to love because they have no conditions. They are always living in full alignment with their nature. They don’t pretend, and they don’t hold back. Human beings, conversely, are always trying to use one another, cheat one another, manipulate and control one another. We should model ourselves after the simplicity and  honesty of plants and animals. In the New World that is coming, and it will arrive more quickly if we create it more intentionally, simplicity and honesty will prime over manipulation, control, power, and pretense. It is time to choose the world in which we want to live. It is time to create that world, and it is time to heal ourselves.

harmonia rosales

On New Earth, we won’t need make-up, and there won’t be hookups. Men and women will be free to be themselves, and there won’t be a need to create drama in relationships. The time for honesty with self and others is here, and it is time to heal ourselves from the trauma of the past. No one is responsible for our pain, and it is time to give thanks for all of the experiences over many lifetimes which have challenged us and pushed our limits farther than we thought we could manage or survive. It is time to unpack all of these experiences and the laws, rules, restrictions, the pain, the suffering, the regret, the shame, the judgment of self and others and to re-examine what it all means. It is time to open our hearts and our emotional bodies as well as our mental bodies and to sort out all of the thoughts and experiences and see how they make us feel. It is time to live in our bodies and to take our bodies seriously by carefully listening to each message from every cell. It is time to return to truth and to the beauty of truth.

sallyedelstein collage

Ladies, we are all beautiful, and we each chose the body that was perfect for the lifetime we are living now. We chose it in every detail before deciding to be born into this body. We chose our families too, in all of their dysfunctional splendor. And none of these aspects are handicaps in any way. We chose to come to Earth to live specific experiences and to learn to love self and others. We came to Earth to bring others the gift of our unique self and talents. Let’s try to use our power to create beauty, abundance, peace, prosperity, and joy. Being human is complex, but it is also simple.


We are each a universe, and we are made out of love – the ultimate creative energy. Let’s use that energy to build something wonderful!

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Remedies for loneliness: the importance of sharing and intimacy

bright night

Dearest readers,

An unforeseen and preventable tragedy recently occurred in my work place. One of my younger coworkers, M. (aged 27) took his own life during the holiday break. He was a quiet young man. Respectful, thoughtful, intelligent. A model employee who was always on time and who played by the rules. His college major was psychology. He had married in 2018 and on the surface, appeared to have a well-ordered and happy life. He had once shared with me that he suffered from extreme insomnia and had never found a remedy that worked for him. His father, who also works for our same company, is a man of conservative views, and I recently found out that the family are Seventh Day Adventists and that the children were both  home schooled.


M. liked cosplay, trap music, and Japanese culture. He had a gentle energy about him, and I always felt that he was different from his family, even though I didn’t objectively know much about them or about him. I can always tell if someone is a starseed, and I knew that M. was, though he was completely unaware of the fact, I am certain. Many of our coworkers as well as myself suspected that M. was gay. A people pleaser, he most likely wanted to be a good son and make his family proud. Was the pressure so intense that he suppressed this part of himself, marrying and trying to lead a “normal” life so as not to disappoint those who raised him? We can’t know, and all we can do is speculate.


However, my reflections on the premature loss of M. from this world and from my workplace (he sat directly across from me), have lead me to a few conclusions.

All of us, as human beings, want to be loved, seen, acknowledged, accepted and celebrated for who we truly are. Most of us are concealing parts of ourselves or pretending to be other than who we are. Perhaps because we feel we are not sufficiently lovable if we are true to our authentic urges and to our original divine template. Every human being on the Earth has been conditioned to adapt to family and cultural values, which means that all of us from early childhood onward, have been forced to repress great chunks of our being, of our deepest urges, desires, emotions and thoughts, burying them deep in our psyches. Shame and conformity play a huge role in social organization and values throughout all of our society’s institutions: schools, religions, government, family, etc.

automat by edward hopper

For every aspect and fragment of self that we repress, we lose energy, vitality, and our lives and communities suffer for this loss…whether or not we are aware of this tragic suppression. When we examine our families, cities, our human communities, we see crime, poverty, duality, racism, illness, depression, anxiety, and people not using their innate creative abilities to bring about the highest outcomes of abundance, well-being, peace, and prosperity for self and others. The truth is that the outer world is a mere reflection of what goes on inside of our hearts and minds. If we learn to heal our own lives, the collective experience of humanity will automatically improve and become more loving, open, and compassionate.

cyber loneliness

In order to heal from all of this suppression, separation, loneliness, polarization, we must return to authenticity and take full responsibility for our own lives and happiness. No one else has the power to make us happy. We each have everything it takes to be whole, to be loved. We are love by nature, and every human being is a powerful creator of realities. We are each the artists and creators of our own lives, happy or unhappy. We choose the life we want by looking inward, by examining each of our thoughts, emotions, integrating, examining what is right and what feels good and discarding what is out of alignment and what feels bad. This is a long and complex process. We can help one another by being more open about our own healing process. As we return to oneness from duality and separation, we end loneliness and despair by being brave enough to share with others.


To be authentic and whole, we must each choose to learn to be honest and wholehearted. All of the energies that have been suppressed for thousands of years have been rising to the surface in our individual and collective lives to be healed. It is time for the global human community to awaken and to take responsibility for our reality, personal and collective. To take responsibility, we must each be aware of who we are and what we are carrying.

vincent van gogh


Once we are aware of all of the suppressed energies and desires, we must learn to integrate them into our conscious personalities and lives. We must give up the images that we create to impress one another and learn to be human once again. I always give thanks for the experiences of pain, suppression, duality, negative thoughts and emotions before energetically transforming their energies into conscious light energy and accepting the new energy and healing into my soul.


It is difficult to be human. But once we begin to share our troubles, experiences, hardships, challenges with others, we realize that we are not alone. Everyone has challenges in their lives, and our lives are all inter-connected. The flow and grace of the life force, and the intelligence of spirit always puts us within reach of people whose experiences are calibrated to our own, to books, videos, content which is ready, if we so choose, to share the information and emotional support we need to grow and integrate the parts of ourselves we have been suppressing.

girl with demon


By sharing and by accepting our own vulnerability, we can recognize our own humanity and that of others. By seeing how hard it is to be human, we can learn to stop judging and envying other people for the lives and abundance they seem to enjoy on the surface and begin to create real intimacy with other human beings. Loneliness ends where the courage to be openly vulnerable begins.


The fake joy and prosperity that abounds in images on the Internet and social media is just that: images. People create images because in a world of ego and duality, everything is about power, control, and manipulation. Image or persona is a fake shield that people create and parade to show that they are strong and impenetrable, when beneath this shield, the façade reveals a vulnerable and frightened child who has given away so much of his or her personal power and original authenticity.

syrian mural refugee camp joel artista

In reality, we are always whole and perfect, but we come to Earth to experience what it is to be human. It is a glorious and extremely difficult choice. We choose to live a small portion of our experiences as limited human beings, and this is a powerful choice, because it is so very difficult to be deprived of full awareness of how beautiful and powerful we are as creator beings. We come to Earth where we experience victimization, solitude, pain, disease, longing, war, imprisonment, injustice, hardships of all kinds. But also beauty, friendship, love, generosity, elation, art, music, and the magnificence of nature.

rainbow hands

I believe that no matter what each of us is going through, we are more powerful when we are truly honest with ourselves and when we share with one another in a completely open and authentic way. It is not always easy to share and to be open, because many people are locked down into their solitude. The best way, in my opinion, is not to ask another person what they are going through, but to use your own intuition and share something personal about yourself. You don’t know how this gift will affect another person, but it just might save their life and help them to look at their own life and gifts in a new way.

At work, at school, somewhere in your community or your family, you have been placed where you are for a reason. You have the wisdom, the experience, and the power to help and heal yourself and others just by being yourself and by sharing who you are. We are each a gift, and gifts must be shared to unlock their full potential.

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Triggered: Healing codependency through the ascension process


duality and emotional turmoil

Dearest readers,

Do you feel like the number of times that you are emotionally triggered has increased over the last few years, months, even days? If you do, you are not alone.

The ascension process is a gradual awakening of the human being, and a transition or healing process as well, taking us from a polarized state of duality to a more unified way of thinking, feeling, being, and doing. To experience unity consciousness, we must integrate the bits and pieces of ourselves and of our power that we have given away to others through victim consciousness and the myriad ways that the duality system has caused us to suffer and be cut off from our Higher Self as well as from other people and beings.


Every time I am triggered, I have to remind myself that the person or situation causing me to feel angry, upset, manipulated, cheated, hurt, or sad is an opportunity to get to know myself better and to take more responsibility for my own life. When I start to understand that this person or situation is not responsible for my personal unhappiness in that given moment and when I start to see myself and my role in that situation more clearly, I can integrate that new information and I become more mature and more able to face life confidently and with more love for myself and for others simultaneously.

Duality always presents an either/or outcome for every relationship, situation, and experience. It is either a good or bad experience. A person is good or bad. We are always judging self and others without even realizing it because we have been conditioned from a very young age to do so, and this conditioning is constantly reinforced by family, school, work, society, entertainment, etc. Codependency is a system of relationship in which we are never truly sovereign beings. We are never responsible for our own pain or failure, and we either are trained to blame others for our suffering or to hold it in and punish ourselves, playing the martyr.

Vasilis Avramidis painting

Unity consciousness and the ascension process give us a way out and above all, a way up. Higher consciousness and thinking mean that we no longer have to spin in circles, endlessly repeating the same experiences with different people that all have the same outcomes. Why do so many marriages end in divorce? Why is there so much violence in our societies? Why so much domestic violence, bullying, suicide, child abuse, incest, theft, manipulation, drug and alcohol abuse?

All of these behaviors are symptoms of duality and codependency. Where there is shame and judgment from birth onwards, we all are made to feel as if we are not whole and perfect as we are, innately. By being trained to seek love, perfection, and completion from outside of self from a very young age, we also learn to punish and judge self and others constantly and mercilessly. This process of auto-sado-mascochism and violence towards others can be healed by shifting to a higher level of consciousness.

Because we all carry so many wounds from self, family, society, and from our ancestors and lifetimes on other dimensions and timelines, there is a lot to heal and integrate. And we are living in a time of healing and revelation of all that has been suppressed. This is why everything appears so chaotic. There is an endless supply of triggers for all of us to “use” for our own benefit, and for the greater good of everyone and all that exists.

hybrid animal painting

As corruption and abuse is revealed on all levels of society and government, and where polarity seems to be exacerbated, we are all given much food for thought. All that has been hidden for so long is now coming to the surface to be integrated and rethought. We now are able to see how dark and distorted the world we have been given as our collective reality truly is, and we have the opportunity to see how powerful we are to change that collective experience. We are not victims, though we have been trained to think that way for eons. All human beings possess the ability to create whatever we can imagine.

Since we are trained to expect the worst of life, this is what we experience. Now we can change this and begin to love and appreciate ourselves. The nature of reality is extremely pliable. Our minds and hearts are the matter and crux of our personal and collective experiences of life. Once we shift our inner life perspective and start to focus on love of self and others, all while taking full responsibility for our thoughts, feelings, choices, actions, the “outer” reality will begin to quickly shift for all of us.

Codependency is a system of relationship that was artificially created to keep humanity in constant pain, confusion, and discomfort. It doesn’t have to be that way. Welcome the triggers. They are opportunities to shift from darkness and pain into ease and happiness. It is a process, and it takes a lot of work. It doesn’t happen overnight, the way people who spout off about the Law of Attraction seem to indicate. Humanity has been enslaved for thousands of years. All of us. Healing from this simply takes time, focused attention, effort, dedication, and hope.

duality painting

I’ll share a recent personal example of a pretty powerful trigger I experienced a few days ago. A coworker has been asking for financial contributions for her daughter, who is about to take a four day trip to NYC with her band class for a performance at Carnegie Hall. She is a single parent, but she does receive child support, and she has multiple streams of income. She has known about this trip for quite some time. The total cost of the trip is $1500. I am also a single parent, and I don’t receive any child support and have no other source of income other than my job. My son is in college overseas, and I have a lot of expenses for travel, insurance, etc. associated with supporting him.

I felt really uncomfortable when my coworker approached me and others, asking for money because I try so hard to be organized, independent, and responsible. I also know that my coworker gives a lot of money to charitable organizations and to her church. I found myself trying to judge her for her poor financial management and for her brazen requests for funds. Then I realized I needed to look within and learn what was causing these feelings of being triggered and upset.

I realized that within the codependent families I know (my own ) and those of friends, that we each play a different role within the codependent family system. One person is the responsible one, possibly the scapegoat. The person who can take care of him or herself and who never gets any help. The person who can be dumped on and who should carry the weight of the shadow for the whole family. Then there is the “poor me” victim and baby who never grows up and always is helpless and needs to be taken care of, long after they are physically mature adults. There are martyrs, victims, bullies, scapegoats in every codependent family.

As a middle child, I happened to be the scapegoat/responsible one. Everyone hated me so they didn’t have to hate themselves. And I never got help or helped when I needed it. So it is logical that this trigger should come up. A helpless person (who is an adult and who is not “really” helpless) asking the responsible one to take responsibility for her child’s trip because she is too disorganized to manage her finances properly!!!


As I turned the situation around and around in my head and heart, I realized that it was the residues of my own codependent upbringing that were coming up to be healed and resolved. I had told my coworker that I wouldn’t contribute to her fund. But more importantly, I realized that her issues are her own to heal, and that mine are my own. I don’t need to judge her and her financial management skills (or lack thereof). She will heal from her codependency when she is good and ready. Sometimes it’s OK to ask for help. And no, I’m not responsible for raising her kid. But I don’t need to feel angry or upset about it, though the trigger brought up the pain and indignation so I could feel it and remember how upsetting it is to be made to feel as though you are the one responsible for everyone else’s pain and discomfort. I know in my mind, and I have known for a long time, that this is not true. But to actually be at peace in one’s mind, body, heart all at the same time…that is true healing. When that trigger can come up again and I just feel peaceful inside…then I will know that I am healed in that area.

Naked Lunch Rimi Yang

These triggers that are coming up all over the place produce very challenging emotions and thoughts. I consider them to be gifts, and I hope that humanity will take these countless opportunities to heal ourselves and to heal our world. We are one family, and we are all perfect, as is. It is hard to be human, but it’s getting easier.

Welcome to New Earth, fellow human being. I wish you the very best on your journey, and I hope I can support you through my words of encouragement, understanding, and explorations of reality.

Ascension and Descension: the fall and the comeback



Dearest readers,

I find the story of Adam and Eve in the Garden of Eden extremely fascinating. In fact, I believe that this story contains the seeds of the current collective experience of humanity. The fall of humanity and the conscious choice of humanity to experience separation from oneness, God, or unity and to spiral downwards into an experience of ego, pain, separation, control, and lack instigated by a snake with feet or reptilian creature is a very interesting state of affairs.

snake with feet

In her children’s book series The Time Quintet, Madeleine L’Engle explores the nature of existence, quantum physics, and the true (hidden) story of human history. Often, her explorations draw references from Old Testament Bible tales. In the fourth book in the series, Many Waters, the most pragmatic and least metaphysical of the Murray family members twin brothers Sandy and Dennys travel back in time to what seems to be a Biblical era. In this time-space, angels, unicorns, and the seductive nephilim, which are extra-dimensional beings who can shape-shift but who have cut their connections with Source, all co-exist and share interpersonal relationships, including marriage with humans. Throughout the narrative, human beings are still connected to some degree to their innate powers and intuitive abilities, as they are still able to see and interact with higher dimensional beings.


I believe that the fallen angels or Nephilim, which some describe as giants and others as extraterrestrial beings, are somehow related to the reptilian beings who came to Earth. The “Fall” of humanity and disconnection of our consciousness from our initial place of unity with our Source Creator and with all that is, is recounted in the story of the Garden of Eden.

Today, while musing on this subject, I was guided to a video containing a live channeled message called The 9th Dimensional Lemurian Collective – Aspects of the Reptilian Agenda.

This message is fascinating and extremely relevant to the subject regarding the Fall and sheds much insight on the subject. It is a complex message about how and when a certain group of reptilian extraterrestrial beings came to the planetary being we call Earth, and how they “hijacked” human consciousness in order to resume their own ascension process. It is explained that human beings are naturally connected to our Source Creator, to the consciousness of the planet, and to the consciousness and cycles of our Sun.

We were living completely in unity and synchronized with the energies on our planet, with her plants and creatures, and with her consciousness until this “invading” force entered the scene. Thus the snake and the temptation at the Tree of Knowledge.

The fact that the Garden of Eden story contains a scene of temptation is also interesting. It means that we somehow were tricked into relinquishing our unity consciousness in exchange for a different experience, which would be the experience of separation from God and from our own innate connections to the consciousness of the planet, to experiences of pain and lack – such as painful childbirth and needing to work to make a living. Were we tricked, or did we make a choice? Much is made of the female being tempted, in an effort to demonize and blame the woman for the Fall.


The channeled message in the video does not reference the story of Adam and Eve, but she does explain that the reptilian beings needed to use human energy and consciousness for their own purposes. Not because they wanted to hurt us, but simply because they could not live on our planet without using our consciousness. And for whatever reason, they could not pursue their own ascension process on their home planet.


Like human beings, reptilian beings are diverse. Some are more evolved than others, spiritually-speaking. Intuitively, I have long felt that human beings are by nature kind, generous, and sensitive beings. Like the blue-skinned inhabitants of the film Avatar, I feel that we were once connected to Nature and able to connect to the consciousness of all creatures. The human beings who are “asleep” or in a low frequency state, are acting through the hijacked reptilian consciousness program which allows those who run the program to use our innate abilities, which are part of our DNA, to be creators of realities upon our planet.


Because more and more human beings are awakening and remembering what our true nature is, where we come from, and what our innate abilities are as creator beings connected to the consciousness of the planet and to the multiverse, it is becoming more difficult for the hijackers of our consciousness to keep the program running. Will the reptilians and their hybrids’ ability to keep using human consciousness for their own purposes come to an end? Will reptilians and human beings be able to both ascend on their own timelines? These eventualities remain to be seen.

Reptilian portrait-alien-nation-koch

Ascension and descension are spiral staircases in the loops of time-space. We can choose to go up and down these DNA-like ladders at any time, as our frequencies shift and flow with our thoughts and our emotions. If we choose as individuals and as a collective to shift to higher frequencies back to unity consciousness, we will automatically consider our reptilian “hijackers” to be our brothers and sisters in the cosmic family. In oneness, there are no enemies. There are just diverse experiences from which we grow and learn.

We could see this as a form of Stockholm Syndrome, but perhaps instead of falling in love with our captors, we could see it as falling in love with our true selves once again. And our true selves are in unity consciousness. With the Law of One guiding us, we realize that no one and nothing is separate from us or from anyone else. The true organic matrix is one in which the pattern includes all and excludes no one.

For additional information on these subjects, here are two very interesting videos with contrasting points of view on the artificial intelligence/alien agenda:


Solar Logos: Resurrecting the Solar Stargate System, Paliadorian Diamond Sun Races, and Disclosure

Re-introduction to the Reptilians



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Beyond the shadow of doubt: transformation of beliefs


Dearest readers,

Doubt is an integral part of the human experience. When we choose to incarnate on Earth, we choose separation from our true identity, which is love, unity, peace, and joy. We choose victimhood, or else we choose to be tyrants. We come to Earth to experience pain, fear, lack, and duality. Why in the world would anyone want to come to Earth, in spite of how beautiful and diverse our planet is?

When a higher level soul or being decides to incarnate on Earth in order to assist humanity or the consciousness of the planet, a step-down process is necessary in order to be born into a human body. The dimension of consciousness present on Earth requires that a soul be broken or “shattered” as many describe it, in order to lose sight of and faith in the beauty and unity of truth. Once the soul is broken and has lived lifetimes as both a victim and a perpetrator of terror, the soul can then embark on the reverse journey of healing and repair. Essentially remembering who we were before being shattered and bringing this healing energy of unity, trust, faith, beauty, health, peace, and serenity back to a world that has been endlessly torn apart by war, judgment, pain, cruelty, shame, and betrayal.


Doubt in myself is something that has haunted me this entire lifetime. The shattering did its job on me, to be sure. I have spent years carefully reassembling the pieces of my heart, and yet I still find myself terrified of being at the mercy of other human beings. I know of unity and integration, and the alchemy of healing, clearing, and transformation of energies. The shadows are part of the mandala that is our existence as much as the light.

I lead a fairly solitary life. While being connected to others appeals to me, and I do have friends, I find it challenging to be really close to others. Being human does not come naturally to me. If, like me, you know yourself to be a starseed, you know what I mean. Competition and the hierarchies at work, admiring and following celebrities, needing likes on social media, belonging…all of these things feel foreign to me. Gatherings and parties, religion, communities and groups…I just never really feel like I belong to any of them.



Yet I know I came to Earth for a purpose, and that this purpose is to assist humanity, the  planet and all of her creatures and elements to ascend to a higher level of consciousness. I am here to assist others in their process if they so desire. I am here to transmute lower frequency energies in the air, the water, the soil, in the plants, animals, and insects as well as the disease and toxins in our bodies into higher frequencies. I do this in the privacy of my backyard and inside my house.

Living a human life in full alignment with my true self is my heart’s greatest desire. Yet the work I want to do seems to elude me. How to make a living making art and helping others to heal themselves without being a master marketer? How to be in the ease and flow of trust, of letting go and receiving the synchronicities born of living flow that is life? Each time I create a business, write a blog post, the customers and readers seem distant, silent. I never know if I touch hearts and minds, no matter how much I try. And I do try, over and over again, without too much expectation. Because it is more important to keep giving than to give into doubt and despair. As long as there remains a shadow of doubt, there is enough doubt remaining to prevent access to the higher dimensional experiences of unconditional love and connection.


Doubt and low self-esteem are a mark of lack. Lack of self-love, lack of confidence. Yet I was born by choice (I believe) into a family and into a life that repeatedly beat me up emotionally, cast me out. So that I could choose to become strong and not seek out love and support from others. So that eventually I would know myself as a powerful creator or realities and an endless source of unconditional love. Well, I’m still working on it.

For the last couple of years, I have wanted to quit my conventional job. The job that pays the bills. So that I can paint and write full-time. Because I haven’t yet experienced financial rewards from my artistic endeavors, doubt continues to haunt me. Is my belief system firmly anchored in the social illusion that one must give one’s time, energy, and lifeblood away doing work that one does not enjoy in order to receive sufficient funds to keep a roof over one’s head?

The ultimate question that doubt poses to me is this:

Can I trust myself?

I know that I, that each of us creates our own experience of reality. Our thoughts and beliefs from one minute to the next also reinforce or transform our collective experience of reality. Each time I invest in fear and continue to stay employed at a job that helps me to take care of my son in college, to pay my mortgage and car payment, to keep food in the fridge and the utility bills paid, I am reinforcing the status quo. Keeping myself in limbo, as it were. So how do I step into the unknown? How do I let go? How do I trust myself and stop behaving like a victim? How do I create with confidence and abundant self-love, the reality I truly wish to experience?


To be honest, I don’t yet have the answer to this question. I suppose a point of readiness will be reached, and I will make a decision. When I was five years old, I was thrown in a pool by an adult at a summer camp. I did not know how to swim, and it was a traumatic experience. One day, at the age of 30, if I remember correctly, I was walking past the municipal pool in Noisy-le-Grand, a suburb of Paris where I used to live. I had walked by that building many, many times. But on that particular day, I decided to walk into that building and inquire about the cost of swimming lessons. I purchased ten lessons, and I committed myself to learn the basics of swimming. When it came to jumping into the pool, the lifeguard, Vincent, was very kind. He held my hand. But, ultimately, I jumped into the pool alone. And I didn’t drown. I didn’t die. My body floated up to the surface of the water, as bodies tend to do.


How do we know when we are ready to live in love with ourselves and to cast aside fear and doubt? I believe that we are our own ultimate lovers.  We alone can fulfill all of the neediness we feel inside. No one and nothing else can solve the issue of empowerment. We all came to Earth to experience loneliness, separation, fear, shame, judgment. Some of us have suffered so much over so many lifetimes, it is hard to imagine how we can heal from these experiences. Ultimately, being broken into a million pieces over many lifetimes teaches us unconditional love of self and others. We’ve all been there, and once we attempt to stop judging self and others, we can cherish and understand how much we have all been through and how strong and brave we all are.


I raised my son by myself, with no family, no father. Having to hold everything together with limited finances. I am proud to have raised a son who is kind, smart, and a great student. He works two jobs to help put himself through school in Finland, while I do everything I can to support him. And now it’s my time to shine. To climb out from under the rock of sacrifice and realize that I am responsible for my own life and what I do with it. There is still a lot I want to do. No one is going to save me. I think it’s time to think about what I really want. To really believe in that vision. Beyond the shadow of any doubt.

Photos in this post taken during my recent trip to Helsinki, Finland. The first two photos are at Weegee, depicting Futuro, a space age house designed in the 1960’s by Finnish architect Matti Suuronen. It is part of the Espoo contemporary art museum, EMMA, and this year is the 50th anniversary of the Futuro house. The last photo is in Porvoo, Finland, depicting a monument commemorating the 200th anniversary of the Diet of Porvoo, establishing the Grand Principality of Finland in 1809. The art in the fifth picture from the top is a tapestry by British artist, Grayson Perry, exhibited on the fifth floor of the Kiasma contemporary art museum in Helsinki. The floating figures are at the Senate Square at the Helsinki Cathedral in a performance celebrating the Night of the Arts.

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Ascension, Unity, and Sexuality: the blurring of gender and the global shift to a higher level of consciousness

purple and orange flowers

Dearest readers,

It is impossible to ignore the vast changes in human sexual identity over the last several years. You might say that human sexuality has always been extremely diverse as well as heavily regulated by culture. Today, it is simply the lifting of social and moral restrictions that has allowed what has always existed primarily in the shadows to be seen and expressed without being forced into hiding. This is true in many ways, and the integration of what has been suppressed and forced into the shadowy realms of the subconscious in the individual and the collective unconscious of humanity is a key aspect of the ascension process.


For those who are not familiar with the term “ascension”, it simply indicates that we, as human beings, are in the process of very quickly evolving from a lower level of consciousness to a higher one. What is extremely unique about the era in which we are living is that we are now able to ascend with our physical bodies. While there are Biblical stories of individuals who ascended with their physical bodies, never before has an entire generation of human beings had the opportunity to ascend without the transition of death.


Our current paradigm, which has been accepted as truth and the nature of reality for many thousands of years, is now shifting. A world based on duality and separation: male and female, good and bad, light and dark is now unifying. That which has been hidden is coming to light. This is why we are observing so much turmoil. What was always there: sex trafficking, human slavery, pedophilia, political corruption, the greed and extreme dishonesty of the elites, the fact that the whole of humanity has been enslaved, manipulated through mind control and propaganda, “dumbed down”, and tricked into submission through a clever and complex agenda of fear is now becoming apparent to an ever increasing number of people.

street art Santiago Chile

Most of these “secrets” have been hidden in plain sight. It is our increasing awareness that makes them easier to perceive as well as transforming our hearts, making us no longer willing to accept the horrors of the enforced reality. Cognitive dissonance is increasingly difficult to live with as we move into alignment with our higher aspects.


It was always here with us, but we didn’t see it. The system which we accepted as “reality” was always dark and was always controlling us, but the frequency of the energies on Earth at the time allowed duality to flourish until the procession of time, which is always moving in cycles, allowed us both individually and collectively to shift our consciousness and to perceive what has been hidden from us. This shift also allows us to progressively “wake up” and remember who we once were. Our powers as human beings: telepathy, psychic abilities, levitation and flight, telekinesis – these and many others, which we have ascribed to “super heroes” are in fact our own normal higher dimensional abilities.


So what is the sexuality of higher dimensional beings? As third-dimensional Earth-bound organic or physical beings, we are in the body as male or female, and sometimes hermaphrodite. The “opposites” attract to form a whole. Yet in the ascension process, the separation between individuals, the divisions between our chakras or energy centers are blending and blurring. Unification means removal of the barriers or divisions between us. As we ascend, we embody wholeness in and of ourselves, whether our physical body is male or female – we realize that we are not incomplete as such. We are becoming lighter, embodying more light, living more and more from our hearts, which are the true source of our power and connection to the Source Creator.


Since there are most likely an infinite number of dimensions, and as humans, we are still organic beings, we won’t in the immediate be transforming into sexless orbs of light who do not need the mechanism of sexual reproduction in order to multiply. Because we are beings connected to the consciousness of the Earth while simultaneously living with the higher dimensions of our soul, we are the embodiment of an agreement to exist as spirit within the density of flesh, blood, bone, and tissue.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I have read that our energy systems are evolving to form a single column of white light, connecting us through our root or feet to the core of Gaia, our Mother Earth, at one end, and to the infinite stretches of the multiverse, as we receive light through our crowns. In other words, our ascension to unity from separation is bringing us increased flow and fluidity.


The culture of darkness in which we have collectively voluntarily or involuntarily joined the experience for the last few thousand years has become increasingly head-based and dominated by masculinity. We see a dominant reverence for science and technology and a relative scorn for the arts, a disdain for motherhood and the softer aspects of being human.  The innate respect for all life, the Earth, and for our connection to one another, to all of creation and its creatures which is familiar to all of the indigenous peoples of the Earth has been suppressed. We are, in ascension, experiencing the resurfacing of the divine feminine, which is very fluid in its expression.


Carl Jung, one of the great fathers of modern psychology, was, unlike his mentor and sometimes nemesis Sigmund Freud, extremely interested in intuition and the balance of masculine and feminine. He likened the healing of the psyche to alchemy, and the integration of the shadow, or the energies suppressed by the conscious mind because of fear or trauma, to the mandala, which we see across all cultures in many different art forms.


The mandala represents the totality of all being. We could call it a visual representation of God, which is the sum of everything that is – energy and consciousness in a pattern of opposites, colors, and geometric patterns, much like a kaleidoscope. We see these patterns in all cultures – from the rose windows of the Gothic cathedrals to abstractions in traditional Mosque architecture and mosaics. When we integrate all parts of our shadow – things about ourselves that we were not able to consciously accept and love, then our own self becomes a mandala.



In public life today, sexuality and the body are most often represented as the whole of who we are. We are taught by the culture and media to identify with our body and personality as the entirety of who we are, when nothing could be further from the truth. From a more unified perspective, in which there is a tension holding in balance the male and female parts of self and soul, we are each much larger and expansive than we could ever imagine.

a-JOAN-SEMMEL-self portrait

I believe the ascension process, as we collectively rise in consciousness, is allowing us to remember who we are as multidimensional spiritual beings as well as beings connected to the consciousness of the planet. Together, with the plants, animals, the air, water, soil, to the beings whom we have forgotten and forsaken – our extraterrestrial or star families, the elementals or nature spirits of Gaia with whom humans were once familiar and whom, in these lower dimensions, we can no longer perceive, our inner Earth family – there are so many beings to whom we are intimately connected – guides, angels, ascended masters, and the Source Creator. An ascended awareness allows us to remember these connections and to communicate directly with these beings.

Once we begin to ascend, our memories come flooding back. It takes time for us to adjust, for our bodies, our minds, our hearts. It is a process. It is impossible to remain the same. We can no longer be simply male or female. As we open up, remembering that we are connected intimately to all that  is, we can no longer be possessive. We must do much work to heal and work with the significant residues of fear, control, neglect, drama, abuse, violence, codependency, addiction which permeate our lives, our bodies, our families, our culture. This is a very intense and difficult process, and the work needs to be accomplished by each of us if we do wish to live at a higher level of consciousness.


Perhaps as we evolve, we will be able to simply connect to another human being from soul to soul. The apparent sexual orientation from birth may not matter at all, to anyone. Perhaps the physical body will evolve at some point to reflect this more fluid, less dualistic form of sexual identity. It remains to be seen. In any case, what I see of the current evolution of sexual identity and behavior is a reflection of the reintegration of the divine feminine and a new embrace of fluidity in the way we relate to self and others in the sacred union.

Lucien Freud painting


It is my hope that human beings will begin to more consciously revere self and one another as divine expressions of God’s creation. We are all creators of realities, and we are all unlimited. Self love and release of judgment are practices that can help us to heal and raise our frequencies from the lower dimensions of duality to a higher truth in which we all understand that we are all part of a single, living, conscious organism. No one and nothing is outside of us. The entirety of creation is contained within each of us. Male and female. We are all of the “races”, all of the animals, and the great diversity of Nature is contained within each of us. The potential to create whatever is in our hearts is unlimited. Once we decide to forgo the programming of family and culture, once we release our ancestors from the transmission of pain, addiction, drama, and codependency from one generation to the next, we can begin to live creative lives full of joy and abundance.


One of the biggest keys in this time of transition and transformation is integration. We each need to do the work. To recognize the male and female in each of us. To face and embrace our shadows and all that we have voluntarily or involuntarily forgotten or hidden. To live aligned with our personal truth is the new sexuality, the new identity of the great shift. Alignment of the higher self with the human personality is the new source of wholeness and great joy. We no longer need to pursue “our other half” in a person of the opposite sex. Wholeness and all of the love, satisfaction, and joy are all within. This shift will allow us at last to truly love and appreciate self and one another. This work and realization is the necessary predecessor of peace on Earth. No more perfect love, no more enemies.

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