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Ascension, Unity, and Sexuality: the blurring of gender and the global shift to a higher level of consciousness

purple and orange flowers

Dearest readers,

It is impossible to ignore the vast changes in human sexual identity over the last several years. You might say that human sexuality has always been extremely diverse as well as heavily regulated by culture. Today, it is simply the lifting of social and moral restrictions that has allowed what has always existed primarily in the shadows to be seen and expressed without being forced into hiding. This is true in many ways, and the integration of what has been suppressed and forced into the shadowy realms of the subconscious in the individual and the collective unconscious of humanity is a key aspect of the ascension process.


For those who are not familiar with the term “ascension”, it simply indicates that we, as human beings, are in the process of very quickly evolving from a lower level of consciousness to a higher one. What is extremely unique about the era in which we are living is that we are now able to ascend with our physical bodies. While there are Biblical stories of individuals who ascended with their physical bodies, never before has an entire generation of human beings had the opportunity to ascend without the transition of death.


Our current paradigm, which has been accepted as truth and the nature of reality for many thousands of years, is now shifting. A world based on duality and separation: male and female, good and bad, light and dark is now unifying. That which has been hidden is coming to light. This is why we are observing so much turmoil. What was always there: sex trafficking, human slavery, pedophilia, political corruption, the greed and extreme dishonesty of the elites, the fact that the whole of humanity has been enslaved, manipulated through mind control and propaganda, “dumbed down”, and tricked into submission through a clever and complex agenda of fear is now becoming apparent to an ever increasing number of people.

street art Santiago Chile

Most of these “secrets” have been hidden in plain sight. It is our increasing awareness that makes them easier to perceive as well as transforming our hearts, making us no longer willing to accept the horrors of the enforced reality. Cognitive dissonance is increasingly difficult to live with as we move into alignment with our higher aspects.


It was always here with us, but we didn’t see it. The system which we accepted as “reality” was always dark and was always controlling us, but the frequency of the energies on Earth at the time allowed duality to flourish until the procession of time, which is always moving in cycles, allowed us both individually and collectively to shift our consciousness and to perceive what has been hidden from us. This shift also allows us to progressively “wake up” and remember who we once were. Our powers as human beings: telepathy, psychic abilities, levitation and flight, telekinesis – these and many others, which we have ascribed to “super heroes” are in fact our own normal higher dimensional abilities.


So what is the sexuality of higher dimensional beings? As third-dimensional Earth-bound organic or physical beings, we are in the body as male or female, and sometimes hermaphrodite. The “opposites” attract to form a whole. Yet in the ascension process, the separation between individuals, the divisions between our chakras or energy centers are blending and blurring. Unification means removal of the barriers or divisions between us. As we ascend, we embody wholeness in and of ourselves, whether our physical body is male or female – we realize that we are not incomplete as such. We are becoming lighter, embodying more light, living more and more from our hearts, which are the true source of our power and connection to the Source Creator.


Since there are most likely an infinite number of dimensions, and as humans, we are still organic beings, we won’t in the immediate be transforming into sexless orbs of light who do not need the mechanism of sexual reproduction in order to multiply. Because we are beings connected to the consciousness of the Earth while simultaneously living with the higher dimensions of our soul, we are the embodiment of an agreement to exist as spirit within the density of flesh, blood, bone, and tissue.

Pierre Teilhard de Chardin

I have read that our energy systems are evolving to form a single column of white light, connecting us through our root or feet to the core of Gaia, our Mother Earth, at one end, and to the infinite stretches of the multiverse, as we receive light through our crowns. In other words, our ascension to unity from separation is bringing us increased flow and fluidity.


The culture of darkness in which we have collectively voluntarily or involuntarily joined the experience for the last few thousand years has become increasingly head-based and dominated by masculinity. We see a dominant reverence for science and technology and a relative scorn for the arts, a disdain for motherhood and the softer aspects of being human.  The innate respect for all life, the Earth, and for our connection to one another, to all of creation and its creatures which is familiar to all of the indigenous peoples of the Earth has been suppressed. We are, in ascension, experiencing the resurfacing of the divine feminine, which is very fluid in its expression.


Carl Jung, one of the great fathers of modern psychology, was, unlike his mentor and sometimes nemesis Sigmund Freud, extremely interested in intuition and the balance of masculine and feminine. He likened the healing of the psyche to alchemy, and the integration of the shadow, or the energies suppressed by the conscious mind because of fear or trauma, to the mandala, which we see across all cultures in many different art forms.


The mandala represents the totality of all being. We could call it a visual representation of God, which is the sum of everything that is – energy and consciousness in a pattern of opposites, colors, and geometric patterns, much like a kaleidoscope. We see these patterns in all cultures – from the rose windows of the Gothic cathedrals to abstractions in traditional Mosque architecture and mosaics. When we integrate all parts of our shadow – things about ourselves that we were not able to consciously accept and love, then our own self becomes a mandala.



In public life today, sexuality and the body are most often represented as the whole of who we are. We are taught by the culture and media to identify with our body and personality as the entirety of who we are, when nothing could be further from the truth. From a more unified perspective, in which there is a tension holding in balance the male and female parts of self and soul, we are each much larger and expansive than we could ever imagine.

a-JOAN-SEMMEL-self portrait

I believe the ascension process, as we collectively rise in consciousness, is allowing us to remember who we are as multidimensional spiritual beings as well as beings connected to the consciousness of the planet. Together, with the plants, animals, the air, water, soil, to the beings whom we have forgotten and forsaken – our extraterrestrial or star families, the elementals or nature spirits of Gaia with whom humans were once familiar and whom, in these lower dimensions, we can no longer perceive, our inner Earth family – there are so many beings to whom we are intimately connected – guides, angels, ascended masters, and the Source Creator. An ascended awareness allows us to remember these connections and to communicate directly with these beings.

Once we begin to ascend, our memories come flooding back. It takes time for us to adjust, for our bodies, our minds, our hearts. It is a process. It is impossible to remain the same. We can no longer be simply male or female. As we open up, remembering that we are connected intimately to all that  is, we can no longer be possessive. We must do much work to heal and work with the significant residues of fear, control, neglect, drama, abuse, violence, codependency, addiction which permeate our lives, our bodies, our families, our culture. This is a very intense and difficult process, and the work needs to be accomplished by each of us if we do wish to live at a higher level of consciousness.


Perhaps as we evolve, we will be able to simply connect to another human being from soul to soul. The apparent sexual orientation from birth may not matter at all, to anyone. Perhaps the physical body will evolve at some point to reflect this more fluid, less dualistic form of sexual identity. It remains to be seen. In any case, what I see of the current evolution of sexual identity and behavior is a reflection of the reintegration of the divine feminine and a new embrace of fluidity in the way we relate to self and others in the sacred union.

Lucien Freud painting


It is my hope that human beings will begin to more consciously revere self and one another as divine expressions of God’s creation. We are all creators of realities, and we are all unlimited. Self love and release of judgment are practices that can help us to heal and raise our frequencies from the lower dimensions of duality to a higher truth in which we all understand that we are all part of a single, living, conscious organism. No one and nothing is outside of us. The entirety of creation is contained within each of us. Male and female. We are all of the “races”, all of the animals, and the great diversity of Nature is contained within each of us. The potential to create whatever is in our hearts is unlimited. Once we decide to forgo the programming of family and culture, once we release our ancestors from the transmission of pain, addiction, drama, and codependency from one generation to the next, we can begin to live creative lives full of joy and abundance.


One of the biggest keys in this time of transition and transformation is integration. We each need to do the work. To recognize the male and female in each of us. To face and embrace our shadows and all that we have voluntarily or involuntarily forgotten or hidden. To live aligned with our personal truth is the new sexuality, the new identity of the great shift. Alignment of the higher self with the human personality is the new source of wholeness and great joy. We no longer need to pursue “our other half” in a person of the opposite sex. Wholeness and all of the love, satisfaction, and joy are all within. This shift will allow us at last to truly love and appreciate self and one another. This work and realization is the necessary predecessor of peace on Earth. No more perfect love, no more enemies.

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The Comforts and Discomforts of Living Inside and Outside of the Box

shaker heights ohio

Dearest readers,

I recently finished reading an intriguing and thought provoking novel by Celeste Ng, called Little Fires Everywhere. Throughout the story, the author contrasts the life choices of two families. One is a single mother Mia, and her teen-aged daughter, Pearl, who live a nomadic and minimalist lifestyle. The mother is an artist, and they never stay in one spot very long. They own very few possessions. It isn’t until the end of the novel that we find out what inspired this fairly unconventional bohemian lifestyle for Mia and her daughter. I won’t go into the details of the story, which is very interesting and definitely worth reading. The contrasting family into which Mia and Pearl become involved are the Richardsons, who live a stereotypically privileged upper class white American life with their four children in Shaker Heights, Ohio, a town designed to resist change and to embody perfection.



The polarized choices of these families and their interactions bring out the reality that it is simply not so easy to reside entirely in one or the other “box”. The complexities of life and of being human force us to confront change, force us to evolve and to look into our own hearts to find our own truth, which does evolve throughout our lives.

Living out of a car

While I personally identify more closely with Mia, being a single mother and an artist as well, the novel forces me to look back over my own life and some of the choices I have made. Some choices locked me into the box of social convention, while others mercifully popped me out of that box.

road life

Human beings are creators by nature. I believe that it is freedom and flow that draw our hearts, while our egos seek security and the comfort of the known. We are all drawn into this dance when we face adulthood and the responsibilities of taking care of our families. As a single parent with a limited income and no family support, I have had to be very creative to bring abundance and richness of experience into my little family. I know from experience that a creative mind and a connected heart can make wonderful things happen. When we are open to the flow of life, magical connections help us to find the teachers, friends, books, travel arrangements, and whatever it is that we need or desire.


I don’t believe that we should be forced to choose between the two. Since we have all chosen to incarnate in a lower dimensional realm in which we live in physical bodies, our need to sustain those bodies and to keep them housed, healthy, safe, clean is a real need. At the same time, we are all immortal immaterial beings of light whose only true and eternal preoccupation is promoting unconditional love and enjoying our existence as creators and manifestors of realities. Both are real aspects of who we all are.

As an artist and starseed, I have always been aware of my own need for freedom. I’ve never really wanted many material things, and I have never cared about status, promotions, celebrities, marriage, ownership of things. Until I was 32 years old (the age at which I became a mother), I owned almost nothing, and I always worked part-time. Being free to live my life as I chose, to be free to create, to dream, to read, and to enjoy life was my major preoccupation.

tree house

Becoming a parent changed my life radically. Suddenly, the 3-D box seemed like something I needed to inhabit in order to give my son what he needed: safety, stability, comfort. A good environment in which he could grow up. Now he is in college in Finland. I feel that this choice has been one that combines the best of both worlds. He is studying tuition-free because of some important choices I made much earlier in life, which have allowed us a greater measure of freedom than most Americans enjoy.

university of helsinki

Families in the United States suffocate under a huge burden of debt, and we have almost no freedom to be creative, because all of our time is managed inside of the box. Americans are carefully conditioned since birth to be consumers and to be debtors. Most Americans believe that they live in a free country. This makes me laugh. America is a prison without walls, but with cameras and surveillance everywhere. Basically, most Americans willingly create their own prisons and live within them without even realizing they are not free, and without even realizing what freedom and power are.


As the starseeds guide humanity towards awakening, an increasing number of human beings will begin to remember who we really are and why we are here on planet Earth at this time. The conventional lifestyle and the pursuits of comfort, safety, and status will, in the coming years, diminish significantly in importance as more and more people align their human, 3-D physical self with their higher dimensional soul identities. Once we know that we each create our own reality through the quality and clarity of our thoughts, emotions, and intentions – our consciousness – then living inside of a box will simply become laughable.


Freedom cannot be achieved without truth, and the truth about our nature and abilities as human beings has been concealed from us, as has our true history, for many thousands of years. Until we have transformed our societies to match this truth, we will each have to come to terms with our own truth and our own identity. Throughout our known history, those who were awake and aware were most often persecuted and put to death, because true freedom was always suspicious. Those who usurped our power and who created the hierarchies who run the world today always wanted to make sure that we used our energy to pursue the artificial dreams and goals that they designed for us.

Now is the time to step out from under the giant thumbs of the global financial system, organized religion, government, and the military. We are creators, and we can all live amazing lives. We don’t need to be pulled and polarized. Dare to dream. This is definitely one of the messages transmitted in Celeste Ng’s second novel, Little Fires Everywhere. Be your true self. Even the fanciest box can’t protect you from the power and the design that your soul has created for your life. Mia dares to live her life as she sees fit, and she knows that all of the answers are inside of our own hearts.


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The Wounded Mother and bringing the truth to light: some thoughts for her and for her children


Dearest readers,

Today is Mother’s Day in the United States. My mother has refused to speak to me for many years. The last time we exchanged words, she screamed at me over the phone, refusing to go to her own mother’s funeral. That was in April of 2007. I could not find a commercial Mother’s Day card that matches my true feelings for my mother, which are full of conflicting emotions including love, but also much pain, sorrow, frustration.

My mother is a wounded person. She bandages her pain, her fears, her memories in anger, denial, blame, and control. By denying whatever happened in her younger years that caused her so much pain, she has chosen to live her life by carefully controlling her environment and the people around her. My younger sister is nearly fifty years old. She never married or had children, and she lives at home with my mother, just to keep her love and remain part of the family. My mother did not succeed in controlling me and my life, and therefore, rather than face her own painful memories and use her relationship with her daughter to help heal herself, she chose to disown me and to blame me for every single bad thing that has happened in her life.

This has been her choice, and her choice to choose fear over love has crafted her destiny in this lifetime. This was her choice, and it has affected me in many ways. Some good, some very painful. Ultimately, I do believe that as souls having chosen to incarnate on Earth to experience a human lifetime, we all (without exception) know before we come here what kind of life we have chosen. The pain, the challenges, the loneliness, violence, abuse…even murder or death by calamity. They are all part of the curriculum. These challenges are also opportunities, allowing us each time they surface, to make a choice: fear or love?

fear or love?

This morning, I woke up early. I am a single mom, and my only son is away at college, at the University of Helsinki, in Finland. He will be home soon for a few weeks, and I am very much looking forward to seeing him. But today, it is me and my dog, Ruby. Later today, I will meet up with friends. The Atlanta summer is beginning, and it gets too hot to get outdoors pretty early in the day. After showering and washing my hair, Ruby and I set out for our daily walk.

Ruby is a wounded dog. She is nervous and shy. She looks over her shoulder if someone is walking behind us on the sidewalk. She often barks at people or lunges at them if she doesn’t like their energy. Sometimes I honestly don’t know why she barks. She is afraid of ducks and flapping flags, and twigs that stick up out of the grass make her jump. She is a rescue pup, and despite lots of TLC, she is still wary and protective. She preemptively barks to keep people away, just in case. This preamble is for a purpose.

Little after we started walking, an older woman (maybe early 70’s) was walking in the opposite direction on the lake path, which is about four or five feet wide. I held Ruby’s leash with both hands. Ruby is a small to medium-sized dog, about 36 lbs. As the woman passed by us, Ruby very slightly lunged at her and she barked one time. The woman was startled and frightened. I had a firm hand on Ruby’s leash, and Ruby didn’t get anywhere near her.

The woman’s response reminded me of my mother. The woman first said that she was frightened, and I told her I was sorry. Then she said that Ruby is aggressive, and I told her, no, that Ruby is shy. She escalated, confirming to herself and to me that Ruby does not appear shy to her, that she is aggressive. Then she asked me for my first and last name. I told her, and I explained further that Ruby is a rescue and that people and even ducks often startle and frighten her. I could feel the fear and control energy coming off of this woman in waves. Generally, most people understand when dogs bark. Most people do not go to such lengths to express their unwillingness to live with any fear or discomfort in their lives.

I am always respectful of others, and I keep a distance from people, young children, and other dogs when I am with Ruby, because I know her well. She fears fearful people. With the instincts of an animal, she knows that fearful people are the most dangerous.

This experience got me thinking about my mom and about fear. I believe that most human beings on the planet today suffer from some form of PTSD (Post Traumatic Stress Disorder). Child abuse and neglect as well as domestic violence and addictive disorders are so common, that there are few families that do not experience them to a certain degree. We live in societies where people pretend to be “normal”, but I have yet to meet a person who does not come from a dysfunctional co-dependent family system.

Therefore, almost all mothers are wounded mothers. Some may be on the mending path, but most are holding in their pain. We live in a society where women are still the underclass. White “privileged” women like this older woman I encountered on the lake path do enjoy the ability to put into practice active denial throughout an entire lifetime. They can afford to live in gated communities and to shelter themselves from a wide variety of experiences which could potentially help them out of their denial of their own pain and fear, and which would trigger the healing process.

The privileged people of our societies are those in the most need of help. Every layer of our societies are full of pain, abuse, denial, anger, and fear. Until we stop and think about things and realize that we do have choices that we can make, this will continue. The cycle of abuse exists in every social class, without exception. For the rich and for the poor, and all of those in between, fear is always a choice. As is love. We can all step out of being victims whenever we want. We can all learn to love our self, and to stop living with shame, blame, denial. When we are ready, we take the step.

I was a wounded mom, but I have slowly healed myself. One day at a time, and there will always be more ways to learn to love, to expand into more loving. But at least I am now ready to enjoy my life. I learned to love myself, at great cost. For so much of my life, I have felt unworthy, because my own mother did not or could not love me, and because my father never strongly stood up for me or my siblings. He was too needy, and she was his own surrogate mother. Because they never bothered to heal their own emotional wounds and bodies, I carried around their pain for a while. I suppose healing was not part of their culture or their time. Then, when I realized that their pain, their shadows, their grief was not mine to carry, I let it go. My entire nuclear family continued to blame me for all of their problems, but I simply stayed away and let it go. It takes a lot of time and effort to consciously heal from sexual abuse, emotional abuse, neglect, and from dysfunctional family systems.

By becoming consciously aware, we can choose love. I feel it is so important to stop perpetuating the cycle of abuse. Abusers are simply people who live in fear and who do not love themselves. They either passively become victims or abusers themselves. Conscious awareness of our thoughts, emotions, paying attention to our bodies, our dreams, how we choose our words and reactions in every single interaction with have with self and others is the only way to heal. We can heal our own emotional bodies, and we can release the abusive trend from our physical bodies, mental bodies, from our DNA, and from our ancestral lines. We can release all karma from our lives. All of this can be done by choice.

I cannot force my mother to heal. I can’t make her face her suppressed memories of abuse or of emotional pain or perceived neglect. I don’t know what happened to my mom, but my guess is that possibly her older brother sexually abused her and that her parents didn’t protect her, because they thought he was so smart, so amazing, that he could do no wrong. I don’t know this for a fact. It’s just a hunch. After all, why would a woman who is so smart, so pretty, who had everything going for her become such a bitter, angry, fearful, and hateful person – especially to her own child? Why would she feel the need to control her family if she didn’t feel the need to create a fortress of safety and predictability around herself?

In the third volume of Kristin Hannah’s book trilogy (Firefly Lane, True Colors, Fly Away), teen Marah has lost her mom to breast cancer. Marah is 16, and, a typical teen, she was often mean to her mom before she passed away. The guilt and fear she carries is translated into Marah cutting herself. She feels a sense of control when she cuts herself, and to be able to limit who hurts her and how she is hurt is why cutting herself is so cathartic to her.  “I am the only one who can hurt me. Only me.”


If you come from a family in which there are secrets and hidden abuse, or if you keep wondering what happened to your mother and why it is affecting you, I highly recommend reading these novels. They are so insightful and full of love, pain, and redemption. I haven’t yet experienced the redemption part with my own mother, but just reading these books was very helpful for me. There are things I would like to know about my own childhood, and I wish I could ask my mother about them. I wish she would speak to me.

The wounded mother may think she is protecting her children by keeping her secrets close to her chest, but the children always carry and intuitively know these secrets. They re-embody the hidden trauma in their own lives, because light always seeks to emerge from shadows, and the soul always seeks healing and creates endless opportunities for us to learn to embrace ourselves and those who hurt us.

Being human on a third dimensional level of consciousness is messy, and it hurts. Wealthier people create a pretty veneer, an image of happiness and prosperity, behind which they can hide their abuse of self and others. Those with less financial prosperity may live lives full of crime, drama, drug or alcohol addiction.

Higher consciousness allows us, has allowed me, to extract myself from my past, from the victim mentality. From feeling worthless, from the endless self sabotage. My mother didn’t want her children to be successful, to be better than she was, and I’ve never held a great job nor have I had much of a career. For so many years, I believed (key word is believed), that I wasn’t good enough. Now I know that I am not a victim, and that I don’t have to always carry my mother’s wounds, or her mother’s wounds, nor even my own. Now I am finally making plans to do what I love and to know that I am not only capable, but that I have so much to offer. Holding back is depriving others of my gifts.

I can (and we all can) choose to set our intentions for our own destiny. To pick up the reins of our own life, and to let go of the past. We can forgive ourselves and those who chose fear over love. We can embody the type of life and love that helps to heal the world. Being a victim is not a destiny. It is a choice. Yes, we have been hurt. Yes, people have abused us when we were young, vulnerable, didn’t know any better. But on some level, we all chose these experiences, and we can choose to use them to make us stronger and more loving to self and others.

To all moms, to my mom: I love you. I know you are hurting, and I know society has told you to suck it up and to hold it in. I know society has told us all that men are superior to women and girls, and this, for now, still holds true. But this reality is collapsing as I write these words. The divine feminine is making her comeback, and the feminine in all things will be loved and revered once again on this planet. Sooner than you think.

To all children of abusive, depressed, angry, alcoholic, drug addict, incarcerated, self-destructive, violent, controlling moms: I love you. You are worthy, you are beautiful. You deserve to be loved. You deserve to do work that you love, and to be well compensated for that work. You deserve to be in relationships with kind, caring people who are responsible and well grounded. You can choose love every time someone tries to hurt you or take advantage of you. Be the captain of your destiny. You are an empowered, sovereign being of light.

We are all one family. Let’s heal together.

Happy Mother’s Day!


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Playing with toys to channel higher self


Dearest readers,

There are many ways to connect to your subconscious mind, intuition, and what New Age teachings call your “higher self”. Today, many people publish YouTube or Facebook videos, blogs, vlogs, and charge money for personal or group sessions to either share channeled information or to assist others in their personal development and awakening process.

While I enjoy listening to and learning from the insights and experiences of other people, I also trust that my own life is unfolding according to its own blueprint. I have participated in a few groups and workshops. Not many.

In this post, I just wanted to share a very easy way to connect to higher self that I found many years ago. long before I ever discovered any materials about awakening, ascension, or the term higher self. It was just a way for me to connect to myself and to expand my inner life. This method is innate to all human beings, but we often leave it behind with childhood concerns as we mature. When I went to live in Paris to study art, I would take long walks all over the city, observing life, and often finding small objects which I would keep to incorporate into my paintings. I also collected small figurines and toys.


I would arrange these toys and objects on a bookshelf. Like a composition in a painting, the arrangements of these objects, toys, and figurines would depict in amazingly accurate ways the answers to my most profound questions and concerns. I still use this form of play today. Without consciously thinking about what I want, I simply arrange the figurines. The higher self puts them together in a way that is perfect, representing my current mental, spiritual, and emotional state. When I become aware of the message and set the intention to move to the next level, all I need to do is to move the toys around, and presto! My understanding moves to the next level as I observe what my higher self just showed me.


For a specific example, I will share an epiphany I experienced at my desk at work this past week. For months, I had several Marge Simpson figures (one larger, the rest about two inches tall, two of which were holding their ears, and one of those which has a black cat crawling up its dress), a realistic plastic donkey, a family of three bears, a snake, and a Lisa Simpson figure playing the saxophone). In the initial scene I had set up, the Marge figures were each embraced by a bear. One of the Marge figures is holding binoculars and a bird book, but all of the birds are in her blue beehive hair. Behind the figurines, I had stuck a sketch of myself on a Post-It note placing a rock in a flower pot, while behind me a bird is hovering and a plant is growing. On another Post-It reads a quote that I had jotted down:

Facing the thing you don’t want to face is where your power is.

For months, I had been agonizing about leaving my full-time job, which I find boring and exhausting, and to replace it with a full-time art career, selling custom portraits. I hadn’t given any conscious thought to the toys or the placement of the quote or the little drawing. It simply dawned on me one day that the set-up that I had created was the perfect illustration of my predicament! The happiness which I seek is not where I am focusing my attention, and I am putting all of my energy into my fears (planting rocks, embracing bears (my personal symbol for living in fear), and giving my power away to the snake (the reptilian conditioning system of duality/fear/low frequency living in which we are all brought up and which seems to be the human condition – or does it have to be?)


Basically, my heart wants to be free and to live in alignment with my higher self, but my ego/mind keeps pulling me back to the conditioned fear response. That is the predicament. The higher self brings in a wide angle perspective on the situation.


When I moved the toys around again, the bigger Marge figurine became my higher self, her arms spread wide, to encompass the whole scene. I placed the bears together on one side of the table, in a stand off. The coiled snake was in the middle. The two Marges with their hands over their ears (not listening to their intuition, for whatever reason) were now leaning against the donkey. The Marge with the birds in her hair was turned to face the higher self Marge. And the Lisa playing the saxophone stood behind Marge with birds.

In this scenario, Marge (me) is realizing that it’s time to face my fears if I want, really really want, to take all of my power back and responsibly create the life I really want for myself. In order to face my fears (the bears), I become aware that the snake which lies between me and them, is my conditioning of which I must continue to become even more aware, and to continue to release all conditioned thoughts, feelings, responses. The Marge figurines with covered ears lean against the donkey, representing the stubbornness and refusal to listen to my inner guidance, and my perpetuation of my current situation, even though I hate it, because I am unwittingly still behaving like a robotic conditioned being, addicted to the fear/survival response.



In the latest episode, as I become more aware that I haven’t truly been facing up to my greatest fears, I start to ask myself what those fears really are. Am I afraid of losing the stability  of a regular income? Sure I am. Am I afraid of losing my house or my car? Perhaps. Are these my greatest fears? I thought they were, but then I am not so sure that these are the factors which are preventing me from just jumping in and quitting my job. They are the so-called logical voices in our heads that have been put there by society, but I realized that my greatest fear is to be truly powerful, to be me, out in the open. That being powerful is somehow really dangerous and scary. Probably thousands of years of incarnations and the memories thereof that reside in my cellular memory (DNA) are constantly but unconsciously circulating through my system all of the time.

And so I knocked down all of the bears. They stayed on the right side of the desk. The donkey moved up and put its front hooves on the coiled snake. The two Marges with hands over ears lay down on the table, nose to nose, melding to one another in a mirror-image. All as Big Marge looks on, smiling, and Marge with birds looks straight at the drawing of me planting a rock and seeing the bird behind me. Going beyond conditioning, beyond fear. Facing that greatest fear. Finding my power inside me. The birds that are in my own hair.

Basically, no one has power over me, unless I give that power up to someone, something, some belief system, thought pattern, or emotion. It is up to me to change my inner landscape so that I can shift my “outer” experience of life in what we call the real world. Playing with toys is a great and fun way to experience your own inner landscape from moment to moment. Because it is always changing, and it is so easy to move toys and small objects around.

There are many ways to receive information from your higher self. Some people have a sense of knowing. Some hear information inside their heads. Some people write songs, some people make art, while others write or journal. We are all intuitive, and we all express ourselves and connect to our higher self or guidance system all the time, whether or not we are aware of it. Even if you don’t get messages from Jesus or archangels, or from some spiritual celebrity, it is really all the same. Because we are all part of a single energy system. No one is better or more important than anyone else, though some may be more spiritually evolved than others. It really doesn’t matter.

The most important thing is to enjoy life. To have fun and play. We have all been exhausted by the 3-D matrix system which surrounds us constantly with fear-mongering, abuse, manipulation, trickery, and violence. But I do believe that our true human nature is to be creative and to enjoy our life. We simply have allowed ourselves to be held hostage by an illusion of reality that has seemed so real that even those of us who perceived shreds of other possibilities have struggled to materialize those more creative experiences of life here on Earth.

It is getting easier to shrug off the old way of being as more and more people around the planet share their experiences. Now we know that we are not alone, even thought we may not know many people who are like us in our immediate sphere. The gift of the Internet allows us to share experiences and to encourage one another. I am so thankful for this amazing tool! So have fun, and get to know your true self. I hope this intuitive technique is helpful to you on your inner journey to freedom!


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Trust, freedom, and power: the price of conditional love


Dearest readers,

I’ve been musing about belonging and freedom. Naturally, we should be easily able to be part of a family or group and also maintain our individuality. At least it seems simple on the surface. Thousands of years of conditional love have robbed us of our spontaneity, our ability to love self and others, and to truly trust in our own voice and in our connections with other human beings.



As a child, I had to make the choice between belonging and freedom. I sensed by the age of ten or twelve that freedom was more important to me than belonging to my family. The family system demanded that all individuality, all freedom, all friendships with people outside of the family be relinquished in exchange for belonging, for being loved, accepted, for being a member of the family. Of course, this is/was a highly dysfunctional family system. I now realize that while this family system was an extreme, it was actually a representation of the norm pushed so far as to make the intolerable part of normalcy/conditional love in our society very obvious.


At some point in my life, I realized that I chose (or some part of me chose) to be a part of this family. To experience an upbringing that was painful, but one which forced me to become aware of my own priorities. Coming up in this family with my sensitivity and quiet nature, my own soul pushed me to revolt, to choose freedom, despite the pain of being excluded and even despised. I was the one chosen to carry the shadow of the family. Everything that was painful, repressed, difficult – like disease, failure, loss – was my fault. As I got older, the more I asserted my freedom and my individuality, the harsher the punishments, anger, and vengeful spirit became.

black sheep

Often, the most spiritually evolved soul in a family group plays the role of the scapegoat. Each soul in a family group agrees to experience together certain roles for the benefit of the spiritual growth of each soul in the group. I have explored freedom, the price of freedom, as well as the benefits and the liabilities of solitude.

black sheep alone

And now, I am confronted with the necessity and inevitable ties between trust, surrender, and belonging. My spiritual and personal evolution require me to heal the part of myself that gave up on belonging, that gave up on trust when I chose freedom, and with it, for the most part, life-long solitude.

Trust Me

I want to preserve the part of myself that is a dreamer, introspective, and which enjoys solitude. And I want to be able to feel whole, connected, belong, to trust, give and receive, without relinquishing my personal power or individuality.

Trust Hal Hartley

Right now, I can’t be in a relationship with others, or even in a place where I trust the Universe to fulfill my heart’s desires, if I cannot surrender or trust. When I set my intentions for my dreams and desires, I must surrender them to the Universe. Letting go and not knowing how things will come into being requires trust.


It is hard for me to get close to other people. I feel more comfortable being alone. As we collectively move into unity consciousness, I sense that my own healing requires retrieval of my full self. Healing means becoming whole again. Becoming aware of all of the pieces of myself that were deeply hurt and tucked away, and taking them out to embrace them with feeling and acceptance, and yes, with my own love. I feel so close to living fully as the powerful being I know that I am…yet to embody trust and surrender seems to be so necessary and simultaneously untouchable.


Having chosen not only this childhood but also a long chain of betrayals, abuse, bullying at home and in the workplace, relationships of all kinds where I allowed myself to be used, tricked, robbed, my soul has evolved out of victimhood into a library of human experiences of suffering and resilience. In retrospect, I believe that I chose on some level with free will all of these painful experiences of rejection, manipulation, grief, solitude, suffering. The other aspect of these experiences was to allow me  opportunities to discover my own strength, imagination, and power as well as self-love and appreciation in order to help others at some point. The school of life as a human being is not an easy one.

child forest



My dream is to be free, all while assisting the planet and all of her creatures in the ascension process. To live and make a living as an artist, to be free from conventional society, its limitations, judgments, bondage. At the same time, I seek connection, and I am always connected to all that is. I have always felt connected to the entire universe and to our beautiful planet. To all of the plants and trees, to the animals. To the water, the air, the clouds, even to buildings and roads. Inanimate objects. But connecting to other human beings is the most challenging of all connections. Why is that?


The human being is no longer a natural being. Conditioned from birth to accept that  beauty, love, and truth be replaced by an artificial truth, all human beings give up large portions of self in order to belong to the groups of family and society. This “fake” love which is really the acceptance of the social contract forces us to give up self-love, authenticity, and the ability to relate to one another in an honest and simple way. We all lose the ability to trust self and others as we grow up. Most of us lose touch with our intuition and our connection to spirit and to the consciousness of the planet, the consciousness of the plants, the animals, the clouds, the soil, rocks, insects, the water.

wolf aurora

My whole life, I have been seeking another natural human being who could be my friend, my partner. Someone who remembers, who is awake and aware. Someone who knows his or her own shadow. Someone who knows that there is darkness in the light of unity and love and who embraces all of it. Someone that I can trust.

pantone portraits

Many years ago, an archaeologist friend from Ethiopia told me about a vision he had of me. He saw me lying naked, unconscious or sleeping, surrounded by a circle of crossed swords. The other day, in my mind’s eye, I arose, twirling in a dance, and I surrounded those swords in a swath of iridescent light, each sword lighting up in a pure and brilliant hue of the rainbow. I dissolved them all into a single rainbow sword, which I used to cut all of the twisted energy cords coming from my body. Spreading my arms in an arc around my body, I created a beautiful vesica pisces-shaped aura around my body. Majestic cobalt blue wings sprouted from my shoulder blades, and a blue beak emerged from my face.

winged vesica ring

I wanted to take charge of my life, of my own healing, of my return to wholeness…myself with the universe. But I had left out the human element. The element of relationship of myself with other human beings. Trusting another human being. Receiving part of my healing…the part of power I had given away in the conditional love contract that we all share with our families, friends, partners.

rainbow crystals

Yesterday, I was debating whether I should sign up for a healing session with an internationally known healer, or whether I should trust myself to heal myself. Make myself whole again. Could it be done? Could I become whole again without putting my trust in another? I had always felt that giving up my power to a group, to a teacher or healer was not needed and even dangerous. Yet there remains this part of my personal history – a part of all of our histories – that is still wounded.


I strongly feel that all human beings are powerful beings. We each create our own reality. We are not victims, no matter how much we suffer. No matter how difficult our lives may be. As we each at our own pace and in our own way poke and prod our way through the confusing challenge of finding our own path, which is constantly evolving, trust is key. Trust in our self. If everything is One, then trusting self and trusting another should come easily. That is the way of the natural human being who has given up all conditioning and the suffering it has caused. One emotion at a time, I have taken back shards and fragments of my self. My heart. My emotional self.

walking through the forest.png

Perhaps the healer has a gift that I don’t have. I am not giving away my power by going to see him. I am proving to myself that I can open my heart while facing another human being. That I can trust myself to not need to protect myself in any way. That our energy fields can merge without my losing any part of myself, my freedom, my individuality. That connection, receiving, and belonging can and should be self-evident for all of us, and not be bought at such a high price.

For me, the New Earth we are recreating together embodies a way of living that is natural for us as human beings. It is our birthright and the template for this way of being is stored in every cell in our bodies. We know what feels right. Once we stop spinning in drama and delusion of a fake and painful collective reality based on exploitation, abuse, victimization, and conditional love, and begin to wake up and remember what love and truth are, then we can begin to trust in our own power and rediscover our own voices once again.


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On Money and Freedom

money tree

Dearest readers,

Many people say that money is but a form of energy. That everything is energy. Yet in our current paradigm, money seems to rule our lives and holds for many the energy of fear. Fear of not having enough, fear of not being able to live out our true talents, desires, dreams. Money is, more often than not, the currency of bondage. We allow ourselves to be controlled by a system that does not hold our best interests, both individual and collective, at heart.

money tree 2

Ursula K. Le Guin, the science fiction author, essayist, poet, and feminist questions our entire economic system of unlimited growth in her book No Time to Spare: Thinking About What Matters in an essay entitled “Clinging Desperately to a Metaphor”. At the head of the essay, she quotes Richard Falk from an article in Al Jazeera published February 22nd 2011: “Unless the people benefit, economic growth is a subsidy for the rich.”


Le Guin questions unlimited growth as a model for a society: “Capitalist growth, probably for at least a century and certainly from the turn of the millennium on, has been growth in the wrong sense. Not only endless, but uncontrolled – random. Growth as in tumor. Growth as in cancer.”

No Time to Spare

She continues to express that our economy and planet are deathly ill, as we have deeply disturbed the natural harmonies of our bodies, our ability to live in harmony with ourselves and one another, as well as with nature. When money, the currency of exchange, becomes a source of terminal illness, when do we do to release ourselves from the bondage of a system which makes us all sick, stressed, unhappy, and which endangers our collective survival and well-being?


Personally, I have always valued freedom over wealth. Intuitively, I always knew I couldn’t handle working a conventional job more than two or three days a week, and that the rest of my time had to be devoted to being creative and living on my own timeline. When I began to work full-time, I felt incredibly unhappy, stressed, and out of balance. I have always preferred to have less stuff and more free time. Freedom is the currency of happiness for me.


Nature offers us her abundance every day. If we slow down and choose simplicity, we find (I have found) that we need  much less than we have been conditioned to require as necessity. Simplicity is the way to freedom. And freedom is the pathway to happiness, health, and to a life well-lived.


Advanced civilizations have no need for money. But more importantly, freedom requires a higher level of consciousness. Before we can all enjoy equality, the free expression of our talents, and to value all life forms, including the consciousness of the planet, we must raise our own awareness and release all aspects of the old, conditioned thought patterns that hold us enslaved in the old paradigm of duality.


Our current system values money, power, and masculinity above all. It allows these concepts to dominate our lives. It refuses to acknowledge the rightful place of the divine feminine, and so we drudge through a life of uniformity with never enough time to dream, relax, play. Our lives are too structured. And the power that money brings us is not freedom. It is enslavement. We worry about what others have or what we don’t have. The system has created a system of debt, and we can never catch up. Pay it all off. We are never free. We can’t breathe.


More and more people want to step off that train of endless debt and meaningless needs and desires. Yet there are still some huge obstacles to confront. Why must we pay for our homes, for a place to live, rest, sleep? Why must we pay taxes to a government which wages endless war and whose immoral imperatives protect only the very wealthy and rarely the common good of people, animals, and the planet? Why must someone more powerful than we own pieces of the Earth, who belongs to no one but herself? Is this not a form of slavery? Why must we do work for, more often than not, self-serving corporations, giving away our most precious commodity – our energy and our personal power – in exchange for the necessities of life – food, shelter, healthcare?

flower jewels

Our basic freedoms were hijacked many thousands of years ago when the money system was created. All of humanity was enslaved, and our consciousness was carefully conditioned. We have willingly passed down this conditioning from generation to generation. We have listened to and believed in the propaganda that we are all fed every moment of the day, no matter what culture, religious, or governmental system we have been raised in. Every human being on the planet is a slave until we awaken and reclaim our freedom, which is the birthright we have all unconsciously renounced.

All artists speak for the right to be free. All indigenous peoples retain the somewhat distant memory of freedom, of what it was like to live free from the bondage of debt and duality. To know that being a part of nature requires a balance of masculine and feminine energies. To know that we are all connected to the consciousness of the planet and to the infinite wisdom of the source of all life. That all of this power and wisdom is contained within each of us, sleeping in our DNA.


As we begin to awaken from the deepest slumber, from thousands of years of domination by a handful of clever and very manipulative beings, we will begin to understand that our life and well-being belong only to us. We will begin to refuse to live as slaves, going to jobs that we hate, in exchange for food and shelter. The system of serfdom and destruction of the planet is about to collapse. Awakening means remembering. Remembering that the plants and animals are our family members, and that we owe them so much love and gratitude. Remembering our own power to create realities that we wish to experience and which make us feel happy and fulfilled.

Freedom is not something that someone outside of self gives to you. It is something that we each must claim, by reaching deep within our self. Striving to remember from the deepest reaches of the collective history of humanity, stored in our genetic structure. Freedom is what we each crave to experience. To wake up each morning when our body says “I have slept enough.” To play and dream, to create with pure intentions. To love self and others. To know that fear is a choice, and that we are each responsible for our creations.


Money will pass away from humanity as we ascend to a higher level of consciousness as a collective. It may take some time. It is a form of energy, a construct that was designed to keep us in line. To preserve the lineages, luxuries, and privileges of ruling classes. When we realize that we no longer need it, we will create a new way of living together that will honor the individuality, the gifts, and abilities of every human being as well as every living being on the planet and beyond. Once we learn to love and honor ourselves and remember our own power and responsibility to self and others, money will slip away and be forgotten. We will wonder why we spent so much time and energy worrying about not having enough of it to live. At that time, we will be free.


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Monster: How Mass Shootings Can Teach Us How to Heal Ourselves, Our Societies


Dearest readers,

There are many reasons why violence is so prevalent in the United States and around the planet today. Violence is an outward projection of our individual inner states of being as well as an accurate portrait of our collective state and how we use our consciousness to create the realities in which we live.


We call these shooters “monsters”. We claim that they are mentally ill exceptions to the rule of who we are: peaceful, law-abiding, kind individuals. We rush to punish or to protect or protest gun ownership rights and laws.

School Shooting Florida

What is a monster? Where do these shooters come from and why do they appear? Are they really disturbing our peace? Have we created a peace which can be disturbed? Or have we accepted violence, constant stress, fear, mistrust, and duality as our accepted state of reality that we wish to preserve?

A monster is someone who shows us something important about ourselves and about our society. From the word “montrer” in French, “mostrar” in Spanish: to show. In a way, a monster is a gift. A person who has entered a state of too much. A person who can no longer carry the separation, the lack, the stress, the loneliness, the brutality of our society any longer. And so they explode. And in that explosion of violence, they show us who we are. They show us how we are responsible for what we have created, all together.

losing temper.jpg

For the societies in which we live are a highly accurate snapshot, in each instant of time and experience, of our current state of collective consciousness. If we each choose in each moment, both individually and collectively, to perpetuate fear, mistrust, perfectionism, tribalism, judgment over unity, kindness, forgiveness, compassion, trust, vulnerability – then we continue to perpetuate the kind of collective experience that leads to more of the same.


The monster or the shooter, in my eyes, is a self-sacrificing hero of sorts. I’m not trying to exculpate the shooter, but to elevate our own collective responsibility for these events. It is not one person who creates the tragedy. It is all of us. These individuals are showing us what we refuse to see about ourselves. Where we play the victim, we are each in fact responsible for every life lost in these tragic, horrible shootings. Even those of us (including myself) who have never used or owned a gun and who practice compassion on a daily basis…I too am responsible. Because we are all one living body, one living consciousness, one family.

responsibility quote

We cannot blame, punish, incarcerate, suppress, hospitalize, legislate violence out of our individual and collective realities.

The only way to stop mass shootings and violence of any kind in our societies is for all of us to take responsibility for the way we imagine and live our lives from one moment to the next.

Fear is a choice. We are completely free to choose to be unafraid in the face of any “outer” circumstance or situation. We are free to speak to our neighbors and to love them, no matter who they are, or what we perceive that they have “done” to us. It is our inner state of being which creates our outer experiences of reality. This is the truth about human consciousness. We are extremely powerful beings, and we create reality with our consciousness.


We don’t need to get rid of guns. We need to sit quietly at home and look at the shadows in our minds and our hearts which are the subconscious programs that are running our lives. We need to get honest with self and others. But mainly with self. All of the great masters who have walked the planet have known and lived this truth. Sit quietly. Face your demons. Integrate the shadow into light. Become a fully integrated, conscious human being. Know that all of reality, the entire Universe, is inside of you. What we call God, or the Creative Source, is inside of you. Together, with our individual states of consciousness, awake or asleep, we create the experiences of reality that we see projected out in the world.


When more and more of us awaken and begin to create consciously, we will see increasing unity on the planet. This is already beginning to happen. Where there was duality, there will be people seeking unity and common ground. Neighbors are meeting with one another, seeking real, face to face relationships. Working on the problems of separation, lack, learning to love and trust self and others once again.

share your thoughts

There is a wonderful new show on Netflix called “Queer Eye”. In this show, 5 gay men work together as a team to help a straight man (a different person in each episode) who is disconnected from himself to live happier, to love himself more, and to improve his relationships with others. It is an amazing show, because people who normally would never meet share incredibly heartfelt experiences of transformation. This is an example of how we heal.

As we each begin to accept responsibility for our thoughts, for each of our choices, and when we begin to live in a more connected compassionate state, loving self and taking steps to open up and show love and gratitude to other people, animals, plants, and our beautiful planet, we will begin to see the dissipation of violence, separation, lack, poverty, inequality in our realities.

We don’t all live in the same reality. In fact, we all jump to many different dimensions from one moment to the next, depending on the frequency of our thought patterns, emotions, and energetic state is at the moment. A human being is a highly sophisticated energy system, a deeply sensitive being who is connected to the consciousness of the Earth, to that of the cosmos, and to every other particle of energy on the planet – air, water, plants, animals, other human beings.


We have not been told the truth about who we are and what we can create. We are not victims. We are powerful creators of realities. It is time to wake up and take responsibility. Think about in what kind of world you want to live. What legacy do you want to help create for the children, for the animals, for the plants? Are you using your consciousness wisely? Are you working to heal the water, the soil, the animals, the plants? Are you thinking about our place in the Universe, in our galaxy? Are you aware that we are but one of an infinite number of planets and civilizations? Are you using your time and energy working to heal and love yourself?


These are the important questions. We don’t need teachers wielding firearms in our classrooms, nor do we need more security guards, or even more restrictive gun laws. We don’t need more mental hospitals. So many young lives have been sacrificed, so many families torn apart, yet people are still not waking up in sufficient numbers. We need to thank the shooters and their victims for showing us who we truly are and what our current state of consciousness is, so that we can learn to live more compassionately, honestly, powerfully. We are all responsible for the violence in our societies. We have the power to make the changes inside of ourselves right now.

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Heart over Mind: from control to vulnerability

mother daughter bonding

Dearest readers,

Truth and living with integrity are important to me. So are slowing down, enjoying the moment. I’m not very competitive. But I like to achieve and manifest my visions in the physical world. Finding and creating balance between our masculine side which is all about doing, achieving, conquering, creating order, and softening to our feminine aspect, characterized by creativity and imagination, dreaminess, flexibility, fluidity is a herculean task at times.

River with rocks

I was listening to Julie Parker’s The Priestess Podcast the other day, and her guest speaker Melissa Ambrosini (January 24th episode) gave some wonderful metaphors for the masculine and feminine energies, helping to move away from gender and allowing listeners to better understand the energy forms in and of themselves. She says that when she feels herself becoming too rigid or harsh, too far on the spectrum of right or wrong, and her inner critic is too active, she reminds herself to soften and to open up. In her words, she moves from rock to river, or from flagpole to flag. Lovely and powerful images, where both divine aspects are honored and prioritized as needed in the current moment and situation!

flagpole with flag

In today’s society dominated by sound bites, snap judgments, and assessments made often too quickly, and in my opinion, too harshly without enough thought or empathy, slowing down and opening ourselves up, allowing self to listen to others without being so quick to jump in with an opinion or an assumption is so very crucial to creating relationships of trust with others with whom we don’t necessarily agree.


The divisiveness of people around the planet into groups where a feeling of tribal association of only those who agree being able to talk and validate one another is, in my opinion, quite dangerous and isolating. If we can’t communicate, honor, and respect those with whom we may possibly disagree, then there is no trust or true intimacy. There develops a lack of honesty, and a climate where people become afraid to speak up and stand in their truth.

Modern Tribalism video

Open-minded and open-hearted living, where we learn to stand in non-judgment and simply listen, acknowledge and cherish another human being for being who they are, for their experiences, their emotional complexity, is key for humanity to heal our divisions and to learn how to integrate our own shadows.

Child listening

Scapegoating is the age-old blame game where people refuse to look inwards and to examine their own life, emotions, conditioning, impulses, contradictions, character. It is so easy to victimize another, to give one’s power away, to refuse to accept responsibility for one’s own discomfort, pain, sorrow, failures. This is the path of immaturity that humanity has been playing out for thousands of years. Humanity, it is time to grow up. Time to take our power back. Time to stop blaming others. Time to see others as a mirror of self and to give gratitude for that reflection and learn from it.

What angers us most in others

Now is the time of introspection for our global society.  The United States in particular  has propagated around the world an attempt to quell the feminine energy of flow, a taste for the rigid and the instantaneous, perfectionism, placing authority outside of self, and an obsession with outer appearances and glossing over the depths of feeling, meaning, and emotional states in our lives.

control e-card

Now is the time to bring honor back to the energies of the river and the flag, all while continuing to honor those of the rock and the flagpole. Creating balance will take a while, but each of us has the power to do this for ourselves in our own lives. This has a global effect. We need to stop judging others. Slow down. Be. Live in the now. Turn off your cellphone. Let go of social media for a while. Take a walk in the forest. Breathe. Watch children play. Sit on the couch and stroke your dog. Listen to someone without offering advice or help. Say thank you to someone for sharing their personal truth with you, for having the courage to open up in a time where we are constantly on guard and constantly offered solutions or judgment instead of a ready and compassionate ear.

Young woman with her dog walking in the forest

We are living in a time made for healing. All of the darkness that is rising from the depths of the Earth and from the depths of our hearts and souls is a beautiful mirror of our personal and collective beings. Let’s not blame anyone for the chaos that now flows about us. Let’s show gratitude for our new ability to see that chaos for what it is: the hidden emotions, truths, and vulnerabilities so long either concealed or projected onto others as scapegoats.


We are not victims or our lives. Living a human life is not easy, and it’s not about being comfortable. It’s not about labeling some people as privileged and others as victims. Everyone has a story, everyone has experienced pain, challenges, and trials. Rich or poor, homeless, socially inept or socially accomplished, we are all here as equals. We are all family, and if we allow ourselves to open our hearts to others and to hear everyone’s story, we begin to realize that wealth has nothing to do with money. Those who our society may judge and label the most harshly, the so-called addicts, criminals, refugees, homeless, poverty-stricken, or mentally ill may have the most emotional wealth of all to share.

Uganda refugee camp

We each come onto this planet by choice. We choose to incarnate into a particular physical vessel, family, situation, country in order to experience a particular set of circumstances. Being born into wealth is not a privilege; it is a choice made by the soul and the soul group into which a person is born. Being born poor, with a physical, mental, or emotional illness or challenge is also a choice. There is no good, bad, or better situation into which a person can be born. When we learn to stop judging and punishing and begin to understand the truth of why we are here on the planet, we can begin to love ourselves and one another much better.

We live in a great era of transformation and opportunity. We are collectively transforming from a culture of manipulation, victimization, and service to self into a culture that is heart-centered and in which the mind serves the heart. A culture of unity which honors vulnerability and which promotes trust. A culture in which all people and all talents are valued. We each chose to come here and to incarnate on Earth at this crucial time. The more love and attention we bring to the planet and to one another at this time, the more smoothly and beautifully the transition will occur.  Fear, anger, division will slow and render more chaotic this transition. We always have a choice. And every single individual choice matters and affects the planet and the global human experience of life.


Keep your power, or take it back. Stand up as responsible. See the world and other human beings as a mirror of your own inner state. Own that. Be grateful for where you are right now. It is perfect, and you are perfect. Stay in the moment, and be aware of your body and how it feels, as well as your thoughts and emotions in each instant. Observe everything and everyone, including yourself, with wonder and amazement.


You are a beautiful creation, a being of light. Moving through the shadows of experience and integrating the shadows as you transform them back into light. Our ego, or survival self is a tool, a necessary structure that allows us to navigate in a physical world, which on many levels, is an illusion. When we allow the ego to take over our entire identity, we become overly fearful and harsh. Stepping back helps us to realize that we are immortal beings, and that our current physical incarnation is only a chosen and temporary expression of our true, multi-dimensional and immortal Self. So relax, enjoy the ride. Enjoy other people. Enjoy nature. Allow people to be who they are and relish in their differences. Enjoy who you are. You are perfect.

I love you.

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How to make your neighborhood a safe, happy place

Maxfield Parrish painting

Dearest readers,

I am a member of a neighborhood social network called NextDoor. It is a wonderful site, connecting people in contiguous communities, allowing people to exchange thoughts, practical information, make friends, and to help one another in various ways.

However, the issue of crime and neighborhood safety is one which keeps recurring, and I end up feeling frustrated because no one seems to either propose to look at the situation from a different perspective, and no one is offering a viable solution to the problem.

house illustration

I see people reacting to a situation in which certain individuals are either violating their space, stealing property either through burglary or taking items such as packages delivered to their home and left on the porch. Cars are broken into and either robbed or stolen. People complain that they don’t feel safe walking and I often see those who do walk armed with large sticks to fend off loose dogs or potential assault by humans.

The key to the problem is reactivity. People are assuming that criminality and danger is the norm, and that fear is the normal, expected, and proper response to the situation that they call reality. What most people do not YET realize is that it is our consciousness that creates our reality. People are assuming that reality is something that is outside of self, and they are reacting to that assumption. What is inside of our minds and our hearts is what creates the outside world that we experience individually and collectively. We are all creating this experience together. We are ALL responsible for this creation.

Norman Rockwell painting

Once we understand this crucial principle, we are suddenly empowered to do something about our circumstances, of which we are no longer a victim. This is a great feeling! As individuals, we can do a lot, but in groups, our power is multiplied. Once human beings realize that it is our consciousness that creates the world in which we live, and once human beings stop reacting in anger and fear to a social fabric that makes them sad, uncomfortable, and anxious, we can begin to work together to create a reality that is pleasant, safe, and productive for everyone.


The shocking truth is that we are ALL responsible for the crime that takes place in our neighborhoods. Even if we have one burglar arrested and punished for breaking into homes or cars, another will immediately take his or her place if we don’t raise our consciousness and raise the energetic frequency that we are creating for our neighborhood. If we accept and promote fear and defensiveness, we are perpetuating crime in our community. Judgment, condemnation, and punishment of behaviors and of other human beings does not and never will solve the problem of crime, which is essentially a disease called disrespect and lack.

A criminal is a person who lives in separation and lack. This person believes unconsciously that he or she does not deserve to have whatever it is that he or she desires. This person also lacks self-love and self-respect. By attempting to take the property or invade the well-being of other people, the person who takes on a life of crime is a person who is pushing up against others in order to learn the lessons of self-love and respect of self and others.

neighborhood kindergarten

When a community is evolved and mature enough to understand the nature of reality and the importance of self-love, respect, and non-judgment, we can begin to work together to create relationships based on love, compassion, and respect for all people. No one is punished or excluded, and no one is obligated to live in fear and to hate or resent others for invading their space or taking their property. We can attempt to work with people who don’t know how to love and respect self and others by raising our frequency and compassion. If a person chooses to live in a low frequency and we choose to keep our frequency high, the low frequency person who chooses lack, disrespect, anger will simply avoid us and our neighborhood. Darkness avoids light.

On a higher level of consciousness, nothing is separate. We are all one, brothers and sisters of one human family. Everyone is at a different place in their personal evolution. No one is, however, better or more important than anyone else. We cannot own anything, because everything is energy. When we stop the flow of energy, there is stagnation.

There are some very simple things we can do to raise the energetic signature or frequency of our bodies, our homes, our communities and thereby make our block, our neighborhood an incredible place to live:

  1. Stop being afraid. You do not need to defend yourself or your property.
  2. Talk to people walking through your neighborhood.
  3. Talk to your neighbors, even if their education and background is different from yours.
  4. Know that we are all one, all sourced from love…even those who are struggling, wounded, living in lack.
  5. Plant a garden that makes your street look more beautiful. This is a gift to the neighborhood.
  6. Place a Little Free Library to make books available to your community.
  7. Organize neighborhood meetings and parties so people can meet one another, exchange thoughts, and mingle.
  8. Meditate. Raise your frequency, clearing thought forms of fear, anxiety, anger, resentment, jealousy (all low frequency energies) from your body, mind, heart, light body, and from all dimensions. We all live on multiple dimensions at the same time, even if we are not aware of it. Create a group meditation for the benefit of your neighborhood and all of your neighborhoods, and create clear, positive intentions for your community.
  9. Do nice things for people you know and for strangers. Say hello, smile, be kind and attentive to all people without distinguishing between those you know and those you don’t know. Treat everyone the same, from the homeless to the multi-billionaire. Every time you do something kind and act compassionately, you raise the frequency of the entire planet. Every time you are selfish, suspicious, angry, inattentive, disconnected, you lower the frequency of the entire planet. We are all connected to one another, and we are connected to the frequency of Earth, who is a living, conscious being.
  10. Be aware of your surroundings. Turn off your phone and pay attention to the beautiful planet on which we live. Be grateful for all of the gifts in your life, including your body, your health, your home, family, all of the animals and plants, the food you eat, the water you drink, the air you breathe. With loving thoughts, you can heal the air, the water, the soil of the poisons and toxins accumulated through so many years of unconscious living. Together, we can heal the planet as well as our neighborhoods.


Together, we can create a new reality, a new society, and a new way of living based on respect, responsibility, self-love, and compassion. We see a lot of chaos around us today because it is becoming impossible to remain asleep. For thousands of years, only a select few have lived in a fully awakened state, and for thousands of years, these awake individuals were often persecuted and murdered for being aware that human consciousness creates reality. The powers that be continue to want us to live in constant fear and to keep us all living in the lower frequency ranges which keep us sick, angry, judgmental, fearful, reactive, at war, addicted to various substances, and in a passive-aggressive victim mode. This is how they maintain their power and their wealth.


Humanity has been manipulated by a fairly small group of elites who are fully aware of the power of human consciousness. These elites have done everything they can to prevent the majority of humanity from realizing our own power. They have and continue to do all they can to keep us fearful and asleep. In this way, we work and we are exploited. We are poisoned, and we are kept sick with a medical system which alleviates symptoms but cures no ailments, for the system itself is one designed to keep us sick. In addition to that sad fact, the health insurance and pharmaceutical industries steal much of our remaining resources, increasing their own wealth. Politics, religions, the military, Hollywood, the media, and finance have all worked together to make sure that we are constantly robbed, fearful, sick, and unaware of our own power. This system is very clever and very complex, yet the darkness in which all of these institutions have been veiled is now being revealed.

poverty and crime

As human beings wake up around the planet (this process has been escalating for the last thirty or so years), the amount of light and high frequency energies on the planet have also escalated. The darkness can no longer operate as it once did, with 99.9 % of all humans asleep and easily manipulated. The power of the Internet is the crowning jewel of the awakening, allowing people all over the world to share information and to communicate. We now know that we do not have to be victims. We do not have to be afraid of one another. We can choose to no longer allow ourselves to be divided from our brothers and sisters because of skin color, origin, gender, sexual orientation. Once awake, we no longer take sides and we are no longer interested in politics, religious salvation, and we are no longer distracted by mindless entertainment.


Awake people want to work together to create a reality that works for all of us. The technologies which have been suppressed by the corporate, political, religious, financial, and military elites and controllers will be allowed to come to light, providing all people with everything we need to thrive. Our planet can easily provide abundance for all people. Our neighborhoods can easily be safe for all people, for all children. The culture of predation and exploitation is collapsing. In 2018, our ability to clearly see the unveiling of all that has been going on behind the scenes, in the dark realms and corridors of power will expand. From pedophilia to human trafficking, the practice of dark magic, and all matters of disrespect of the human condition, those who have been asleep will be shocked very deeply.


It is important as these revelations come to light to not react in anger, fear, disgust, even though it is, on one level completely appropriate to feel this way. Those who have been sleeping have been allowing these behaviors and, as such, are also responsible for this reality. What is most important is to feel compassion for those who have been living in the dark for so long. Both the predators and their victims. We are all immortal beings having a human experience. The human experience until now has been one mostly of separation, lack, and suffering. Remember, when we lower our frequency to anger and reactivity, we are lowering the frequency of the planet and prolonging the transition to peace and prosperity for all.


It does not have to be this way any more. We are living at a crucial time in the history of humanity. A time in which we have the power to make an incredible difference in the lives of all people and in the quality of life shared by all beings on our beautiful home planet. Let’s awaken with empathy for all human beings. Judgment and condemnation are part of the old system, the old way of life. When we create something new, there will be no separation, no duality. Be kind. Be curious. Be understanding of self and others. Be quick to help, and slow to criticize. Listen. Pay attention to your inner life. Be in nature and be thankful. Let’s create a wonderful new life on Earth together. Now is the time.

playa del carmen.jpg

If you are feeling drawn to the concept of awakening to a higher level of consciousness at this time, please pay close attention to these feelings. Work the puzzle of your own life, and above all, be kind and loving to yourself and to others. Work with other people. Unity is our true state of being, the one reality.



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Sighting crows and return of the holy grail in 2018

Rackham ravens

Dearest readers,

Over the last month or so, I have been noticing large numbers of crows in my area. Absorbed in thought and observation as I walk in nature, I hear them call out, their raucous, throaty voices capturing my attention and making a mark on my consciousness.

crow diorama

A few weeks ago, I felt compelled to re-read Robert Bly’s short but very important book, “A Little Book on the Human Shadow”. I requested it from the library, and immediately upon beginning to read, an intense emotion, as deep as a thrill, struck my heart. In the very first chapter, at the end of the very first paragraph of the book, poet Bly declares:

We notice that when sunlight hits the body, the body turns bright, but it throws a shadow, which is dark. The brighter the light, the darker the shadow. Each of us has some part of our personality which is hidden from us. Parents, and teachers in general, urge us to develop the light side of the personality – move into well-lit subjects such as mathematics and geometry – and to become successful. The dark part then becomes starved. What do we do then? We send out a crow.” (my emphasis)

noah with dove and crow

This first paragraph is followed by a poem by Bly evoking the well-known story following the biblical flood, in which Noah, as the waters began to recede, sends out a dove to search for evidence of dry land. In fact, before the dove was sent, a crow was sent on this same mission. The crow evokes groundedness into the Earth, into the feminine, and into the darker side of self. All of the passions and emotions that we do not accept individually and collectively are embodied by the crow. The power of our bodies, our sexuality, the consciousness of the Earth herself, the wisdom of plants and trees, the truth and reality of the multi-dimensional nature of the planet and the human being…all of these are the domain of the crow and its corresponding symbol, the missing holy grail.

Our culture, by pushing the feminine and the qualities she embodies into the shadow, is reflected in the story of Noah.  This story clarifies how the triumph of the dove creates unbalance. We choose to live in the light, but we are burdened by an immense shadow. We don’t understand how there is so much violence and disrespect in our culture and in the behaviors of individuals. Symbolically, in the Noah story, we can see the disastrous consequences of the failure of the crow to come back down to Earth and be consciously present and represented in our cultural practices, minds, and hearts.

The crow is a totem animal that is frequently evoked as a powerful shamanic spirit traveling between dimensions. Soul retrieval is the equivalent of shadow work, as the shaman travels between dimensions, usually between the daylight of our “solid” third dimension to the subconscious hold-all of the fourth dimension. The fourth dimension, where we often travel during dream-time,  gathers both darkness and light. It is in this dimension in which most of our fears and unrealized desires dwell. When we are abused, hurt, damaged in some way, we lose some of our personal power and energy. These shards of being, of self, are spirited away into another dimension, into which we no longer have conscious access. Survival and self-preservation provoke this relinquishment of these pieces of self. To return to the 360 degree being that we are promised upon birth requires that we travel into these alternate dimensions in order to recover the energetic fragments of our consciousness that we have given up.


It takes courage to retrieve these parts of self, and it takes courage to look into our own shadow as well as into the shadow of the collective. The crows are physically present at this time to help us in this process. As the grail or the divine feminine returns and offers herself and her services to allow us to live more powerfully and more responsibly, we must look inward and stop pushing away that which is dark, deep, intimate.

totem pole

The grail is often depicted as a cup or chalice. The cup is a feminine shape, receptive, containing, possibly representing the woman’s body or womb. Our culture and society have actively persecuted and rejected the power of the feminine creative source for thousands of years.  The power of the feminine is a part of ourselves that has been suppressed in order to benefit a power structure that did not want to see us empowered or responsible creators of our own realities. And so we have all been living in a reduced capacity, in a co-dependent, victim-bully relationship and in a paradigm based on duality and separation from a key part of our most profound self.

Noah's ark

The return of the crows  is a crucial sign for humanity, as the crows have touched down and made physical contact with the Earth. They bring us back evidence of the dark loamy soil of a conscious planet ready for ascension. Do we choose to accept the challenge? Do we finally as a society begin to understand that the stories of the ancients were in fact truths and not myths? That centaurs, unicorns, sprites, giants, fairies, elves, witches and wizards are real beings living on a more coherent, higher frequency dimension, and that because we have dropped to a lower, more chaotic frequency, it is simply fact that we can no longer perceive them? At least not until we raise our own frequency and begin to vibrate at a higher level…

The crows are our teachers and guides. They are here to help us find the pieces of self that we have thoughtlessly scattered and lost. They are here to help us  become aware and to bring back meaning to our lives. They are here to help us to remember who we really are and how much we dream of living with purpose and integrity. Without the crow, the dove cannot create peace. Just as the Chinese yin-yang symbol depicts two interlocking tear drops of black and white, each containing a drop of the other’s “blood”, so do the dove and crow need one another to create balance. Without the divine feminine energies of receptivity, creative power, patience, dark brooding, intuition, physicality and sexuality, the divine masculine energies cannot alone produce a world that is livable, just, or sustainable.


We are now in a place where the world in which we live has become intolerable for all but a very few. There is and has been an agenda designed to destroy the planet and all of the beings who live upon Gaia if those in power can no longer reign imperiously and without consequence, plundering the Earth, humanity, the animal and plant kingdoms. It is up to us, as human beings, to return to the flow and to the power that is our birthright.  The only way that we can accomplish this is to unplug from the brainwashing programs that have been designed to keep us shattered, asleep, powerless, fearful, and in pain. The crows have come to gently awaken us and to show us all that we have given up. It will be a rude awakening for many, but the rewards will be great once we begin to work together to create realities which benefit all beings.


I recommend reading Robert Bly’s “A Little Book on the Human Shadow”, and anything by Marie-Louise Von Franz. Bly speaks of Franz on page 54 of the Harper edition:

“Marie Louise von Franz says somewhere that a human being who has done work with the shadow or absorbed the shadow gives a sense of being condensed. Other people willingly give him or her some authority in moral matters. If a teacher has worked with his own shadow, she says that students, no matter how young they are, sense it, and discipline in that room will not be difficult, because the students know that the teacher has his crow with him.” (my emphasis)

I also recommend reading “To the Bright Edge of the World” by Eowyn Ivey, an intercultural tale which brings forth the tension between European culture in America and that of the indigenous tribes, whose reality still very much included the magical dimensions. In this wonderful novel, among many threads and story lines, the shaman (who shape shifts into a crow) steals an unborn fetus from a white woman while her husband is exploring the wilds of Alaska. The child is then delivered by its father, from the Earth and the roots of a tree in a great gush of blood. Adopted by native tribes-people, the child grows up to mediate between the two cultures.


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Winter solstice 2017: the rainbow portal


Vädersolstavlan is painting depicting a halo display observed over Stockholm, Sweden on April 20, 1535. It is named after the multiple sun dogs appearing in the sky on the upper right part of the painting. Artists:   Urban målare, Jacob Heinrich Elbfas, painted in 1636

I have been listening to a fascinating series of channeled messages and interpretations of these messages by Magenta Pixie called Rainbow Portal, Silver Ray and the Two World Split (Winter Solstice 2017). This link includes the entire playlist for the original channeling plus the 12 part interpretation.

sun dog

For those of us who are actively involved in the ascension process and who identify as starseeds, this winter solstice is a particularly important event, in which at last the divine feminine comes in to balance with the divine masculine. Pixie explains that the silver ray is the feminine aspect complementing the golden ray of the masculine. This silver ray allows us to maintain our high frequency so that we can do more than just visit the fifth dimensional realities.


As she spoke of the rainbow portal, the messages activated in me a series of memories from both art and life. My father passed away in November 2006. At his burial a magnificent sun dog, or perihelion appeared in the sky. It was a dark, dreary day, yet this phenomenon (caused by the formation of ice crystals in the upper atmosphere) touched all of us who were present. Since that day, I see sun dogs on a regular basis, and I always think about my dad when I see them. In fact, I saw two just this past week as I was doing light work to dissolve chem-trails and to transmute their emissions into healing particles of light in my neighborhood and all over the country. One of the jets flew directly through the iridescent patch in the sky!


I also remembered a painting I made around 2001-2002 of a girl-bear hybrid having a tea party with some eggs and monkeys, with a rainbow bridge in the background. Intuitively, I understood the outcome of the shadow work.

sundog plane

I believe the rainbow portal is a sun dog. Pixie says the portal or gateway is also a vortex.  I think about the torsion field or toroidal form, which is both a vortex and a portal, spinning out zero point creative energies from its center. In nature, the vortex amplifies energies. For example, in a mountain stream, as the water eddies over rocks, it swirls in a vortex pattern. (See Viktor Schauberger’s documentary.) This geometry energizes the water and endows it with healing properties. The same goes for light, for thought patterns, for images. The vortex is also the model for our DNA, which Pixie’s channeled message describes as filaments of rainbow light in a quantum field, intertwined with strands of golden and silver light. Our DNA is in fact the piece of God consciousness that is inside of each of us – the interface between our own consciousness and the light of the Universe.

In much of Christian art, Jesus is painted as emerging from a rainbow-like portal. In the painting by Hans Memling, pictured below, it is interesting to notice that outside of the rainbow portal inside which Jesus sits on a throne, there seems to be a lot of violence and chaos erupting.  As we prepare to enter the rainbow portal of this year’s winter solstice, the collective is plunged into a similar array of random acts of brutality.

In these artistic depictions of the Christ or unity consciousness embodied, sometimes the portal is round, but other times it appears in the form of a vesica piscis, or the shape formed by the intersection of two circles. This portal is an expression of the divine feminine, as it is shaped like a vagina, and the Christ or unity consciousness is emerging from the womb of the Universe into grounded or incarnated form. The Christian fish is this same shape, formed by two intersecting circles.


Most people do not think about Jesus or Buddha as being masters of DNA or masters of physics. Most people are not aware that there have been many great masters (male and female) who have walked this Earth, and that many masters are alive today.


Full integration of the light of awareness and unconditional love all parts of the self are the pre-conditions for mastery. All parts of self that were formerly submerged in the shadow of the subconscious mind are examined and brought into the light. At this point, there is no longer any need for conflict with other people. No need for karma. Once this difficult work has been accomplished, then any human being is capable of functioning from the zero point as a master of love. A miracle is the outcome of a person using intention, imagination, and unconditional love to create in hyper-space, outside of the illusion of time and space. This is the creative space, where humanity intersects with what we call God. Our DNA is the source of our power.


This winter solstice of 2018 is an activation point for full re-empowerment of the human being. As we bring back the full measure of the divine feminine to complement the divine masculine, and as we integrate both sides of our brain back into unity, the long journey back to our true nature comes full circle.


Humanity expelled from Eden has come full circle into the rainbow portal. It does not matter if you consider the “Fall” to be a choice or a condition to which humanity has been subjected for many thousands of years. Humanity has been experiencing separation from our true power and our true nature, out of balance, lonely, yearning, grasping, blaming, judging, killing. Yet in spite of the terrible challenge of being completely unaware of the great power within us, human beings have created incredible music, art, theater, dance, fashion, gardens, languages, architecture. Human beings have remained creative in the arts, sciences, mathematics, sports, and so many areas.

Nevertheless, the full expression  of our true abilities has been severely curtailed. We have been experiencing life as but a shadow of our true measure. The rainbow portal is an opportunity to return to Eden, fully aware and responsible. Not in the care of a father-like God, but fully empowered in ourselves.

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2018: Integrating the shadow for the collective

little red riding hood

Dearest readers,

2018 is a year where the presence of the shadow in society will be unavoidable. Chaos, violence, crime, people being offended, the eruption of sex scandals, political intrigues, and abuses against people, animals, and the planet will explode exponentially. These eruptions which are already quite visible are increasing so that humanity can integrate both the collective and the individual shadows held until now in the collective unconscious and the personal subconscious mind.

The shadow is a personal and collective phenomenon. When our personal problems remain stuffed under the carpet of our awareness, and when we keep ourselves “comfortably numb”, shadow work is needed to help us to live more responsibly. As we confront our shadows and become more honest with self and others, we align our lives to a lifestyle which benefits everyone, and not just our self. Fairy tales are a form of spiritual alchemy that are specifically designed to help us to integrate the parts of ourselves that we don’t fully understand, accept, or that are painful. Fairy tales, accessible to people of all ages and cultures, are a great resource for shadow work.

Marie Louise Von Franz

Marie-Louise Von Franz worked with C.G. Jung, and is the most important analysts of fairy tales, in particular from a feminine perspective. Her work is invaluable.

We live in a time where it is OK to be a victim, to constantly be offended, to blame others for our problems, not honor commitments. Today, it is acceptable to manipulate and use others for our own benefit, and to pillage the planet, hurt plants, animals, people, soil, water, air, trees, without any thought to the consequences of these choices. Relationships are superficial. People use each other for sex, perhaps for some semblance of connection or grounding to the planet and the body. It seems as if most people are divorced from their own emotions.


Some people call this paradigm the “service to self” conditioning and way of life. In this paradigm, everyone and everything is separate and limited. Our thoughts, feelings, choices affect (or so we think) no one but our self. In this system of thought, behavior, and social conditioning, the human being needs to stuff a lot of pain, sadness, self-hatred, and judgment of others into an ever-growing hideaway that psychologists have named the “subconscious mind”.


In a world where limitation keeps us feeling needy, lonely, hurt, and where the answers (and even God) lie always outside of self, there is permanent sense of emptiness which haunts us. This perception of our human self being limited, vulnerable, and essentially powerless is the source of all abuse of self and others, all wars and conflicts, all bullying, all victimization, all manipulation. The way our financial systems, laws and government on all levels, prisons and judicial systems, schools, families exploit human beings, animals, and the planet is both the cause and the result of the great suffering on the planet today.


This experience of limitation  is coming to an end. In order for human beings to stop distracting themselves from the truth of their own power, we must wake up, individually and collectively.

Facing the shadow is the first step in awakening and taking back our power, leaving behind duality to become unified, and fully responsible for self. Shadow work is very difficult, but it is important and inevitable if we want to grow as individuals and as societies. If we want war to end, if we want universal healthcare, and for all people to thrive in harmony with plants and animals, we have to take our power back. Each of us has to do the work by ourselves. No one can do it for us. Changing the world means looking inward. The shadow is inside each of us. No more can we use hatred of others, racism, xenophobia to avoid facing our own inadequacies and lack of self love and approval.

kara walker

Shadow work involves confronting all of the suppressed truths that we have refused to confront since birth into our bodies. It also means facing, one by one, all of the ways by which we have been conditioned. All of the belief systems which have limited us. For example, I long believed, as I was taught, that I could not make a living as an artist. I hated this belief, but it ruled my life for so many years. And because I believed it, I bargained and compromised myself by working part-time jobs. Later, as a single parent, I encountered so much bullying and abuse in relationships, that I chose to work full-time jobs that made me miserable so that I could be free from abuse in relationships. At that point, I needed the solitude to heal myself and learn to love myself. For so many years, my heart wanted to do creative work full-time, but my head (ego) told me that I could not provide for myself and my family, that I could not survive or thrive doing the work that I love to do.


When I finally began to confront myself regarding these beliefs, I had to find the courage within myself to break the bond with what I had held as truth for so long. This is painful, because I had to grieve all of those lost years doing work I hated, as well as the loss of all of the time I could have spent being creative. In addition to those facts, I am still working up the courage to leave the security of a job that pays the bills and venture into the unknown to find a way of living that gives me the freedom to do what I love to do. This requires faith, and faith lies in the heart, not in the mind – where the ego has been allowed to reign as king over all of our institutions. Keeping us fearful, limited, puny, mistrusting.


Limitation and separation teach us that the ego is the only important part of self. Physical survival primes over everything else. We are all conditioned to be terrified that we will be homeless and starve to death if we dare pursue a path that makes our hearts sing. We must be slaves to the system; ego and separation demand it. This is all part of the conditioning. However, the heart and the creative spirit of human-kind is reawakening. By facing each and every fear, and we all have many, we are doing the shadow work that will allow us to live in full integrity, full responsibility, and full alignment with our higher self.

black and white

The collective, or society at large as a group, is facing the same challenge now that we each face as individuals. As scandals erupt in an escalating flow, disclosing sexual abuse, harassment of women, pedophilia, financial scandals, and pervasive abuse of power throughout every institution in our societies, we are all forced, even the most reluctant among us, to face all that has been hidden from us for a very long time. We have kept, mostly willingly, the wool over our eyes and spirits, accepting what for some has always been unacceptable. Now, it will no longer be possible to continue to live comfortable lives ignoring the suffering of others. We can no longer ignore the suffering of farm animals, trees, plants, sea creatures, human slaves, the responsibility for war and the misleading banners of patriotism. We are now all aware. We are now all responsible. This is waking up and facing the shadow.

shadow people

Fairy tales are the blueprint for integration of the shadow, and such folk and fairy tales exist in all cultures all over the planet. They function as a type of psychic medicine for the soul, working on the unconscious mind which intuitively understands the symbolism of the stories. When we hear these stories and crave to hear them again and again, the subconscious mind allows these symbols and patterns to work their magic, even if we remain unaware of the true meaning of these symbols. In these stories, every fragment of the human being is portrayed as an archetype. The characters work through challenges, sort the chaff from the wheat, learn to be responsible for their choices and to integrate the missing parts of their soul which have been lost or separated from the whole. Shamanism and soul retrieval work much the same way, as can dreams and art work.

Lotte Reiniger

For the next several years, the population of the entire planet will be engaged in shadow work. As the exposure of darkness escalates, do not be alarmed. This is a necessary process. Many of us starseeds have been born into abusive families and have lived through lifetimes of extreme duress, learning to deal with the shadow, learning to love ourselves unconditionally so that we may guide humanity through this difficult task.


After millennia of living as co-dependent, reactive victims entangled in countless avoidant and addictive behaviors, it is not going to be easy for humans to realize that everything we were taught was real, true, and important was in fact a lie. The illusion was designed to enslave the majority of humanity to benefit a handful of elites around the world in the areas of religion, finance, military, and government as well as off-planet manipulators.


It is going to seem like the darkest, most hopeless time. The dark night of the soul. But, in fact, this time we are engaged in is the night preceding the dawn of a new era in which humanity begins to love self and others and begins to take back power and responsibility for self. Unity and service to others are the outcome of this upward spiral. Please be brave, and do not give up hope. As in the fairy tales, there is always a deep, menacing forest to cross, and challenges to confront, before the integrating moment of the marriage takes place at the end. Integrity means being, becoming whole. We have been deprived of essential parts of self, including, most importantly, the divine feminine. On some level, we have agreed to that experience of limitation and suffering…for a time. Now is the time to become whole again.


Art credits: Lotte Reiniger (German film-maker), Kara Walker, Arthur Rackham


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The Light Quotient and self-healing

Close to 2,000 people take part in the “I Meditate” Africa Month Program in Richmond, South Africa, on May 27, 2017. “I Meditate” is a volunteer-based nonprofit organization devoted to teaching meditation as part of self discipline and peace building, especially in prisons, schools, educational and social institutions, and in highly stressful environments. The town of Richmond was once a hotbed of political violence between the African National Congress and the United Democratic Movement. The Art Of Living Foundation conducted the program in 25 African countries, reaching over a million people.

Dearest readers,

I have written before about the light body and about coherence in the body. Coherence is when we create order and harmony in our body by being conscious of our thoughts, feelings, and beliefs. Light is information that our cells and DNA need for cell division. A certain light quotient is needed to create balance and health in the body. When we allow too much drama, too much chaos in our lives and relationships, in addition to our eating dead foods, drinking dead water, and living a conventional life, we bring in disease and disorder in our bodies and lives. When we live unconsciously, without thought to the well-being of our body and soul, disconnected from other people, plants, animals, or the planet, eventually we create a great deal of entropy in our bodies.

flaming heart


I think about the eco-system of the body like that of a forest. There is growth and decay. Cycles of creation and decomposition. When decomposition takes precedence over creation, the fungi, bacteria have their way with your cells and tissues. Balance is lost, and depression, brain fog, and disease create a pain body. When we carry attachments to so many old stories that are not about love or wisdom, and when we are not able to live in the moment with our hearts and minds in balance in an attitude of appreciation and unconditional love, our bodies also suffer.


Basically, the human body is a closed system guided by our consciousness, which is a gateway. What we allow in: food, air, thoughts, feelings, gratitude, or attitude all affect the cellular activity of our bodies. Most of us are running on autopilot, feeding the unconscious programs from our ancestral DNA, from our families, and from our cultures into our bodies. These programs are full of lack and separation. Lack of self-love. Lack of respect for self, others, animals, the planet.  Judgment of others. Disrespect. Manipulation and abuse of others and the environment to get what we want. Selfishness. Fear. Anger. Reactivity. Mindless behaviors. Poverty consciousness. Impatience. Greed.


These low frequency programs are depriving our bodies of the light codes needed to run coherently. The cells of people, plants, and animals need light in order to function optimally. To be healthy, we need to consciously allow light and love of self and others into our bodies with every breath we take. Sunlight, unconditional love, as well as light codes from outside of the Earth plane come into our bodies as we think, feel, breathe, eat, relate to others. Every different form of light in the perceived rainbow and beyond contain different frequencies with specific healing properties.



Light waves from the sun contain information in their wave-lengths, as do light waves that we create using our imagination, which is sourced from the pineal gland in our brain. The pineal gland both produces and receives light codes and is a portal or gateway allowing us to connect to all beings, places, timelines in the time-space continuum. The human being is a multi-dimensional being living on a planet in which parallel realities or dimensions are being constantly created. For the pineal gland to function correctly, it must be decalcified. Avoid fluoride in water, tooth paste and dental rinses. Meditate and learn deep breathing techniques  to open the pineal gland. Breathing in is inspiration. When we breathe in, we also receive light information, and conscious out-breath allows us to release all unwanted, blocked or unneeded energies.


Scientists have been working with what are now called “bio-photons” since the 1970’s. The predecessor and true father of this research was Alexander Gurwitsch (1874-1954). He first discovered mitogenetic radiation in an experiment in which onions grew toward one another when an opaque glass pane was placed in between the two plants, reducing sunlight exposure. He also postulated that light increases cell division, and that plants themselves emit light or are luminescent. Plants emit much more light than people do.


Biophysicist Fritz Albert Popp (born in 1938 in Frankfurt, Germany) discovered that DNA particles produce faint emissions of light, and that these light particles, which he called “bio-photons” are necessary to trigger coherent or highly organized patterns of cell division in the body. He realized that this process of creating coherence as photons stimulate chemical reactions in cellular structure is at least partially regulated or controlled by consciousness. The information contained in these tiny light particles or photons, creates order in the body.


Dr. Popp wrote his doctoral thesis about cancer. UV light is the anomalous factor between normal cells and cancer cells. Cancer is caused when the necessary light required for orderly cell division is suppressed, and the cancer or tumor cells absorb and emit available U.V. light. Cancer tries to take over organization from the body, sucking in light from surrounding cells, killing the healthy cells as well as its own structure, eventually. Cancer is the process of decomposition, as in the forest, gone wild. Cancer in our bodies is a reflection of the chaos in our societies. Poorly organized patterns of energy are randomized systems of chaos. We have the power to transform cancer into health, creating more complex, coherent patterns of energy by using our consciousness. Unconditional love is the pattern or light form that helps and heals by creating these more complex, more organized patterns leading to harmony and coherence.

We know today that man, essentially, is a being of light Prof. Fritz-Albert Popp

A machine called a photomultiplier was developed which can measure the quantity of photonic light emitted by an organism, so it is possible to see to a degree of 85% accuracy the bio-luminescence of an organism and the degree to which a body can absorb light.


The future of healing is already here today. Using our imagination, our consciousness, our intentions, we have the power and ability to create order, balance, harmony in our bodies, or conversely, we have the power to allow our bodies to fall into decay. It is our choice. When allowed to function without conscious direction and with “destructive interference” of unconscious programs (inner toxins) and toxins coming from food, soil, air, water, media, dysfunctional relationships (outer toxins), the body systems and the DNA that regulate cell division are deprived of light and become chaotic.


Basically, unconscious behaviors may be the prime directive creating a terrain for disease in the body. Increasing light through meditation, consciously using imagination to create light codes that enter the body restoring coherence which can be used for healing. No machines, medications, substances, or surgeries are needed for this process. It is necessary to clear or detach from old programs, to detox the body of the less organized patterns that create this destructive interference in the body.


Ascension guides, or those of us who have come to Earth to allow humanity to rise to a higher level of consciousness, are now here to help all Earth-bound humans who wish to learn to self- heal to bring more light and more coherence into our bodies, into our relationships with self and others, and to our relationships to all of life, the plants, the animals, the planet, the air we breathe, the water we drink, the soil, the rocks. Everything that exists is energy, and the entire universe or multiverse live inside of ourselves. There is no separation between self and what is perceived as “other”.


Different frequencies of light (different colors) as well as geometric shapes/forms can be used to heal our bodies and return us all to coherence. The imagination is a super-power, allowing us to create new patterns and experiences of reality. Imagination is not limited to art. Or rather, art is a powerful manner by which the artist creates new blueprints for reality. Everything that exists has been imagined by someone individually or collectively.


The violet flame or violet fire is a powerful tool that you can use to transmute separation back into higher frequencies of light. By transforming disorganization back into coherence, the violet light frequency is key to healing. Like plants, which will channel toxins into selected leaves in order to protect the coherence of the whole plant, the human body channels toxins into certain parts of the body such as the nails, and especially the toenails and soles of feet. Our connection to the planet is one in which the planet will receive, if we specifically request it, that the toxins be removed or released from our bodies into the Earth. We can also ask that the Earth give us what we need to create more health or coherence and love in our bodies. By showing gratitude to our Mother Planet and allowing her to take what she needs from us, we create a positive, coherent, and living relationship with the planet which helps us to live in the moment and to be connected to Nature once again.


Today, many of us suffer from chronic pain and from excess body weight. The body is storing old programs, stories, attachments to a victim mentality, and to experiences and identifications that do not serve a higher level of living. Holding onto programs created by our society which need us to remain fearful, suspicious of others, and judgmental of others at all times, will keep you sick and if you decide not to let go of this status quo, your body will be like a forest that is dying. Candida, fungal infections, allergies, frequent infections, the abundance of incidences of cancer, inflammation, and chronic pain are all signs that the majority of human beings are living without the necessary light in our DNA.

candida overgrowth

We are masters of our experience of reality at each moment. Human beings are powerful beings when we choose to become conscious creators of our realities. Getting healthy and returning to coherence is necessary before we can remember who we truly are and why we are here on this planet. It is a process. The nature of reality and the truth of human history are completely different from what we have been taught in school, at home with our families, and through almost all published media. By learning to master our imagination and how the human body is connected to the entire universe, we are able to heal self and others too.

boy with rooster

While it appears today that the world is in chaos, what is happening in fact is that all of the shadows or collective toxins, the random patterns of decay, lack of respect, lack of integrity, consciousness of competition, hierarchy, separation, abuse are being exposed. The decay that has become a way of life and for most, the true expression of reality, is being revealed for what it is: a lack of light. As we collectively and individually rise to a more coherent level of connection to self and others, we understand that we are energetic beings of light. We are creators of love and light and are given the opportunity to choose between experiences of disease and decay, or love, light, coherence, and harmony.

duckling and owl

Both forces, creation (syntropy) and entropy, are necessary polarities allowing us and our bodies to live in harmony. When we are done with something, we let go of it and allow it to die, so that in decay and death there is transformation. The energies when released into the violet fire can be transformed into new life, new creativity.

cat and mouse


Healing the self is an art and a science. Our current system of medicine and healing is based on separation. The body is a machine. We give our power away to doctors to heal a body that is a mystery to us, with which he have no ability to communicate or understand. Medications are chemical substances that are foreign to the body, introduced to fight invaders. They do not take into account consciousness and that the body is a closed system naturally able to heal itself without foreign substances. Fighting disease is symptomatic of the condition of separation.

fighting disease

Healing involves our imagination, our taking full responsibility for self and for our relationships with other human beings and the planet, with all of her creatures. We can’t be healthy if we judge others or take advantage of others. We can’t be healthy if we don’t love self unconditionally. All is one. Love is light. Light is information. Light is everywhere. The human heart and the divine feminine are sources of light and creation.

Our culture has come to the end of an experiment where we chose to be separate from half of our true identity. Many thousands of years ago, the divine masculine took over, acting as if it were the sole creative force in the universe. This hostile takeover left us to identify with the survival self, Ego, as our entire expression of being. We learned to live in our minds, limited and cut off from our hearts and our creative powers. We left the Garden of Eden and chose to fall into separation. We chose to live from knowledge and left wisdom behind. We forgot the power of our own hearts. We forgot that with our consciousness we can create our own realities. We forgot how to be responsible for self. We forgot that all knowledge and wisdom is inside of us. God is inside of us.

The Wider Image: Puppy love: therapy pooches bring peace of mind

Atila, a trained therapeutic greyhound used to treat patients with mental-health issues and learning difficulties, falls asleep as it is caressed by three patients at Benito Menni health facility in Elizondo, Spain, on February 13, 2017.

Now is the time to remember. Now is the time to re-create the balance between the mind and the heart, the masculine and the feminine. The divine feminine, the holy grail, is returning to humanity right now. With this great transition, we will all learn eventually how to create, how to heal, how to live in harmony with self and others. As we learn the power of our own light, we will take responsibility for our own lives and whether we create coherence or chaos in our own bodies and homes, with our families, in our relationships with friends, lovers, partners, co-workers, and strangers. We are returning to unity consciousness, and the experiment of separation, disease, war, racism, and poverty are coming to an end. The more quickly we choose to wake up and to choose coherence and unity, the more quickly we will collectively create a reality which supports the highest expression of self for all of humanity on this beautiful conscious planet that we call our home.

rose quartz

There are healers today working with energy, consciousness, light codes, many from outside of our planet, imagination, and focused intention to heal the body. These include Bruno Groening, a German multi-dimensional healer working in post war Germany, Patrick San Francesco, from Goa, India, Grandma Chandra, a young woman from a higher dimension incarnated in a severely handicapped physical body who communicates through her mother telepathically, and Jerry Sargeant, also a very talented individual and Star Magic healing facilitator, from the U.K.  Using our innate connections as human beings to the consciousness of the planet and to planetary beings outside of the sphere of Earth, an increasing number of people are becoming aware of our ability to heal self and others through thought and energy patterns by creating coherence.

The relationship between loving thoughts spoken to our cells, imagination and intention, and the biology of cell division as well as the physics of light and its effects on biological organisms will soon, in my opinion, be clarified by scientists. As we begin to integrate the active principles behind consciousness and the creative power of our divine feminine aspect, we will all learn to maintain coherence as we transform our societies and way of living into one in which we respect self and others, animals, plants, the planet. Unity and a holistic way of living promote harmony and health. Disease is not an enemy. It is a misunderstanding – a separation from self and all that is. The consciousness revolution is here, and humanity is about to rediscover its innate powers.

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The end of fake freedom



Dearest readers,

In this post, I will attempt to explain how we can move from an illusion of freedom which is still our collective accepted reality, to living as truly free, powerful, and creative beings. This shift requires moving out of duality and into unity – out of the head and into the heart. Moving from a male dominated energy system into one in which the male and female energies are balanced. A way of living that is synergistic and holistic rather than dualistic, controlling, and which suppresses the creative powers of the feminine.


Most human beings still believe that they are free or that we are collectively living for the most part in free societies. My thesis  postulates that freedom and democracy are deceptive concepts introduced into a paradigm of duality: left, right, liberal, conservative, rich, poor, socialism, capitalism. There can be no freedom for human beings in the current collective mindset in which we have all been born and in which we all (or most of us) agree to live.



It is an extremely clever system, and it has been maintained for millennia. This system equally controls the wealthy and the poor, all “races”, all ages, male and female.  In this system, we agree to give up most of our freedoms in order to have our most basic needs met: food, water, housing. While we dream of living the desires of our hearts each and every day, we are controlled by fear. If I don’t pay my rent or my mortgage, my home will be taken away from me. I will be homeless. I will be hungry. I won’t be able to take care of my children, my family.

poor neighborhoods

We live enslaved to systems and institutions which are run by people or beings who live unfettered by the concepts and agreements to which we self-enslave. The elites pay no taxes, do not work in order to enjoy housing, food, water, clothing. These elites are not obligated by the laws that bind us, and they enslave and exploit men, women, children sexually and for other experiments without limit. The lineages running our financial, political, military, and religious institutions, and all of the corporations to which we willingly or more reluctantly give away our time, our energy, our health, our faith, maintain duality in order to control us and to preserve their power and privilege.


We barter our true nature and our true freedoms as creators in order to merely survive. We have learned to equate our entire reality to the confines of our physical bodies in this single existence. This is why all of the world’s major spiritual teachings speak of the ego and of releasing our attachments to things, to beliefs. The ego is not evil. It is a construct in our minds which allows the soul grounded in a physical body to survive in most basic terms. It serves a certain purpose and only enslaves us if we allow our self to exclusively identify our entire being with the limited construct of ego.


The chaos we observe in the world today is the expression of the death throes of duality. The end of both conservatism and liberalism, the end of elites running the institutions that throw us into endless debt, that conceal advanced technologies that would give us free energy, instant transportation to anywhere in the cosmos, and above all that keep us all running in circles, obsessed by drama, fear, and fighting one another instead of unifying and realizing that all of humanity, all of nature is a single family.


As more and more people in all countries on our beautiful conscious planet, Earth, begin to awaken and to realize that duality is not reality (not the only reality), we begin to shift. This process has been happening for many years as the energy quotient on the planet incorporates more and more light. Light is information, and our DNA transforms as we absorb this light. When we use our imagination and our intentions to shift our realities, the entire planet and our relationships to all that exists on the planet and beyond also change.


Communism, socialism, capitalism – all isms and so-called utopias constructed in the mind can never work for everyone in a reality construct that is based on duality. Duality means some are haves and some are have-nots. Equality cannot exist outside of the holism, outside of the heart. The heart is the gateway to the unified field. Without self-love, and without unconditional love to and for all that is, there is no possible utopia. We are not limited to duality, unless we accept that duality is the only way to live.

utopian duality

As it turns out, spirituality is physics. In conventional western medicine, duality rules. If you take a medication to help you get well, it also comes with a host of side-effects which are damaging. The body is seen as a machine, and disease as something to be fought and destroyed, rather than loved and thanked. When truly healing from the heart, all is energy. There is no good, and there is no evil. Nothing needs be fought or destroyed. Energy is never lost. It is simply transformed.  In a truly holistic healing path, there are no side-effects. The blockages of emotion or energies in the body which are no longer serving the collective good of all of the cells in the body are what cause what we call disease. Disease is simply the outcome of a person ignoring the total well-being of their mental, emotional, physical, and light bodies over a period of time.

body as a machine

The human body self heals. Constantly. It is a self-regulating system. The human body is designed to live a very long time. We are meant to live in harmony with our bodies, our minds, our hearts, one another, our environment.  Everything that is. Because everything that exists is energy. We are energy. Energy is ever-shifting, in patterns of light, sound, geometry. With our thoughts and emotions, we create frequencies. There is no good or bad. Only various patterns that create realities.


Once we realize that each of us is a creator of realities, and that we are all connected in one vast and infinite web to an infinite number of universes, planets, beings, we are in awe of the vastness and beauty of life. Why limit ourselves to a tiny fragment of a single aspect of reality, when we can be, do, or participate in anything our heart desires?


The false freedoms promised by capitalism, socialism, communism, or any of our current religions cannot deliver their promises of comfort, salvation, wealth, or well-being. They are, by nature, limited by duality. You may ask, why are we always fighting some enemy in order to “enjoy freedom”? Why do our politicians and military create enemies and dangerous situations in order to control us with fear? By nature, the promises of false freedoms make us weak victims who are controlled and manipulated. Yes, we have each agreed to experience limitation, control, victimhood, duality. But now that we have experienced this suffocating experience of lack and that we have observed the devastating effects of duality on human health, relationships, communities, we can choose if we want to continue this experiment or try something different.


True freedom resides in the human heart. Subjectivity is not a lesser way of being. The heart is the vessel, the portal, and the ultimate gateway to freedom. For the master of self-love, the master of the heart, is a true super-hero. We have been trained to think that science is based in the mind, a fully intellectual pursuit. But as it turns out, the master of physics and creator of realities is someone who trusts in intuition, someone who is connected to all that exists, someone who trusts in the creative powers of love. Love is light. Light is information. We do not have to search for information. The entire truth of the universe, of all universes, is contained inside of us. Inside of our hearts, our DNA. We have access to all information, once we release all of the beliefs of limitation that we once accepted as truth and reality.


This process of transformation from living with the concepts of false freedoms to one in which we become creators is a process for most of us. We can shake off the old way of being and living, in which we attach to certain privileges or an identity. For example, many today are proud of being survivors of some condition – cancer, domestic violence, incest. Others are proud of their careers or accomplishments. When we shift to the heart, we see these experiences of suffering or social progress as a gateway to the opening of our heart. These experiences are not something to hold onto or onto which we need attach our identity. We are no longer victims. When we are free, we can choose to be completely healthy and to help heal others. When we all get to the point where we are living holistically and from the heart, we will be constantly balancing our bodies, emotions, relationships whenever there is the slightest sense of disequilibrium. We will communicate with our own cells. We will be constantly in touch with all that is, no longer disconnected or dependent on experts to tell us how to heal, how to be, how to live abundantly.

challenge growth

True freedom is at our fingertips. Right now. All we need to do to begin to release our self from the bondage of false freedom is to realize that there are other options, other realities. That the head and heart, masculine and feminine, are both necessary components to life, liberty, and happiness. We are all creators, pieces of the source creator of all that is. Living in a human body does not have to be a source of constant struggle or suffering. We don’t have to limit ourselves and only embrace some beings and not others. The upper middle class need not fear the poor. Those living in poverty need not envy the privileges of the wealthy. These are destructive agreements that maintain duality so that we can all be better controlled and manipulated. This separation was created on purpose, with deliberate intention. We can move beyond this paradigm of duality. We are doing it now.

peaceful nook

The more people who awaken and who become conscious of their true identities and abilities, the quicker and easier this shift will be. We see the exposure of the darkness of racist policing, the intentional shootings and terrorist attacks designed to keep the populace in constant fear, the news media which feeds those who subscribe with never-ending narratives equally designed to maintain constant anxiety and fear. The beings who run our global societies are being exposed. The corruption of business, politics, religion, the exploitation, sexual slavery of children and adults around the globe is being exposed as well. We see that terrorist groups around the globe as well as those who fight them are funded by the same governments and military industrial complexes. As we see the darkness exposed, there is no need to feel despair. We should, in fact, rejoice.

light beings

That which has been concealed from view (and there is much more below the surface as yet to be revealed to the majority of humans) is now coming to light for the masses. One day, our true origins will also be exposed. We will finally meet our star families. We will know our true history, and we will learn about ancient technologies and history, knowing that humanity and life on the planet and in our galaxy and beyond is so much older and developed than we were ever taught in school. We are living in a wonderful time of transformation, and we can all play a part in it by raising our own frequencies. The more light that is in the world, and the more blocked energies that we release and transform back into light, the more free we are to consciously create realities that we will all enjoy. There is no need for some to be privileged and others to live in poverty.

heart centered reality

In the new realities of the heart, everyone will thrive. As the divine feminine makes her way back into the light, into our consciousness, into our hearts, we will find balance again. The see-saw of duality will quickly fade. We will take responsibility for our lives and wonder why we ever thought it was acceptable to be a victim or to feel so powerless. We will wonder why we accepted to live in debt to powerful corporations and families who thrived and enjoyed their lives while most of us worked so hard for so little. We will self-heal and no longer struggle with disease and shortened life spans.

child hugging tree.png

We will understand that we needed these experiences of limitation in order to wake up. And once we are awake and have tasted the power of freedom, a freedom in which we are fully responsible and accountable, we can never go back to the old way. We are creating this new golden age together. No one is coming to save us. We are our own saviors. Working together, as a community of light. Bringing back the divine feminine to live in harmony in our bodies, minds, hearts, spirit, communities.


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Delighted! Signs the collective is moving to service to others ethic



Dearest readers,

I am always looking out for clues and definite signs that our shared reality is shifting from a service-to-self philosophy based on greed, separation, and lack to one that is expansive, holistic, conceptual, compassionate, and generous.  In this nascent reality that we are all evolving into and building together, all people, animals, plant life, and the planet and beyond are one well-balanced, loving, and harmonious family.


As I look to the skies, I see that chem trails have disappeared. This gives me great joy. I recently participated in a global meditation organized by Jerry Sargeant to send love and specific light codes to the pilots who have been dumping these toxic chemicals into our skies, knowingly poisoning our bodies, our air, our animals, our trees, plants, soil. We also sent love to those who issue orders to the pilots, and those echelons above the administrative levels. By raising the frequencies and pouring light and love into the collective with specific light-encoded intentions, we, as human beings, have the power to recreate the realities we experience, both individually and collectively.



This past week, I came home to a lovely surprise that also, to me, proved that love and generosity are on the rise. Atop an expected Amazon package on my front porch sat a brilliant blue bubble wrap envelope, sealed with a sticker reading: “You’re the cat’s meow, Chewy”. Chewy.com is a lovely company from whom I purchase pet food for my dog, Ruby. The very first year I ordered from Chewy, I received two long hand-written messages on Christmas cards from the company. Delighted and surprised, I wondered if the company was very small and just starting out?


Every time I have interacted with customer service reps with Chewy, they have always been extremely kind and helpful. But the electric blue bubble wrapped package revealed a surprise which went far and beyond the typical customer experience. Expecting perhaps a promotional dog treat, I opened the package. Inside, I found a lovely handwritten card, the envelope addressed to “Rebekah and your furbaby”. A square-shaped object wrapped in white tissue paper was also sealed with a “cat’s meow” sticker.



When I opened up the tissue paper, I found a hand-painted portrait of my dog, Ruby! The painting is signed on the back, by the artist. This gift was so unexpected, so lovely, it took my breath away! It made me so happy. On top of that, I have been planning to create my own business to paint portraits of pets and their people for some time, so the arrival of the portrait, and my desire to leave my corporate cubicle job to return to my true mission as a full-time creator was also a great gift.


I called Chewy and spoke to a young man named Patrick. He said that Chewy.com is a great company to work for, because they pay attention to the small details that make people happy. He added that he is always delighted to hear how joyful and encouraged people feel when they receive the surprise pet portraits!


I have sent an e-mail to Chewy’s HR department, asking if I too can be part of their pet portrait team, as it is such a lovely opportunity to spread joy and love in the world. (I’ve included in this post some of my own portraits of Ruby.)  I wouldn’t normally write about a company in this manner, but I feel that it is important to give not only credit, but to share how crucial it is to be expansive, generous, and loving in business. That these practices connect us all and bring greater happiness to everyone. The age of exploitation and greed is ending. The age of stress, worrying about being duped, robbed, tricked out of your money by corporations, banks, and other organizations is coming to an end.


We can make this transformation occur even faster in two ways. Firstly, by becoming aware that we are collectively creating a new way of being human together. Secondly, by remembering our true nature, as powerful, sovereign creative beings, and by working together to imagine and embody new ways of working together, doing business, educating our children, building housing and cities, and new ways of interacting with one another and with our beautiful mother planet.


Human beings are generally fearful of change, but the changes that are coming are wonderful changes. What we are letting go of deserves to be released, so that these stagnant energies of selfishness, ego, separation, and greed can return to the unified field field to be recycled into new ideas and creations. With love and gratitude for the experiences of having lived out the paradigm of loss, solitude, victimization, separation to its end, I believe we are all now ready to shed all of the stored pain, fear, anxiety, judgment, jealousy, anger from our bodies, from our ancestral lines, and from the collective. These energies, once released, can be transformed into something new and beautiful.


We are creators. Powerful creators of realities. We are moving back into our hearts, and we are remembering how to create from our hearts, with intention. Leaving the cramped box of the ego/information/judgment experience behind, we are the brave warriors and pioneers of a new, expansive, and loving society, co-creating with Gaia, for a peaceful, harmonious existence on Earth. It is not happening to us. We are making it happen.


Be aware. Send love to all, especially to those who appear to need it most – those who are angry, self-serving, narcissistic, impatient, cruel. Every time you intentionally send out love and light to those around you, this love expands. This is the most important work you can do. Be strong, and keep the faith. The signs are here. Look for them!

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Rediscovering innocence


Dearest readers,

An innocent heart is the most powerful state of being. We look with delight into the eyes of a baby, a puppy, a kitten. The light flowing through the eyes of innocence is soft yet bright. Full of wonder, joy, simplicity. There are no shadows, no fear, no intentions other than to enjoy and fully experience the moment at hand.


The innocent do not protect themselves. They are completely vulnerable. How can being completely open and vulnerable equate to a state of power? Spiritual teachers always insist that laughter, joy, spontaneity, and living in the moment is the most powerful state of being. It is the place where everything becomes possible. We do not seek to control or attach to outcomes; we simply live each experience fully without projecting the past onto the present or a potential future.

laughing children

How can we, as adults, return to a pristine state where we can laugh, enjoy our lives, and stop constantly negotiating for our survival? How can we move out of our heads and settle back into our hearts? Living in a playful state means putting away our checklists, our goals, our plans and projects. Play is a creative state of being. Artists, musicians, writer, poets are adults who have maintained at least some traces of innocence. The ability to embrace the potential to engage with reality in the moment is the essence of play.


While children are not always joyful, their reactions and interactions with life are full on. They are passionate. They argue, they scream from depths that we adults have forgotten we possess, since we have worried for so long what other people might think of us were we to completely let go and allow ourselves to belt out the grief, joy, excitement, or pain that we feel in the moment.


If we are to be as little children to inherit the newest version of Earth, then we need to practice innocence. It is the most challenging aspect of the ascension process. Shedding all of our armor, all of our experience, all of the hard-won knowledge that was supposed to make living on Earth easier…it is now time to let it all go. To be naked again, disarmed, trusting that our needs will be met without having any idea how food, drink, shelter, warmth, love, or companionship will come our way. Is this not a great challenge for any responsible adult?

older woman

Yet is we are to fully realize our potential as aware multi-dimensional beings, then we have to let go of the conventions, the programs, the teachings, that have brought us to where we are today. To co-create with the consciousness of the Universe requires a state of innocence, full receptivity, presence, openness. A state where there is no judgment of self or others. No shame, no blame, no hierarchy. No self-importance. When you fall in love with yourself, anything is possible.  All of the masters are joyful. Innocence is the mastery of love, and love is the building block of reality.

joyful adults


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From puppets to people: remembering our humanity



Dearest readers,

While most broadcast “news” is designed to trigger fear, to divide people against each other, to keep us obedient and passive, and to conceal the truth, occasionally nuggets of truthful information do slip through the control agenda. I am persuaded that it is useless and even counter-productive to fight “against” the system. If we wish to make changes to the quality of our individual and collective realities, it is up to us as creative beings to become aware of the way things are now and to consciously create new ways of being.

voice of god technology

Protest, anger, and fighting back all imply that the system in place and those who keep it going are more powerful than we are. This is not the case. The paradigm of control over humanity has been designed to keep us passive so that we use our life energy to support a very few “powerful” beings who run the system, dividing us against one another and manipulating us through constant fear, using technologies to distort our thoughts, using the media to plant seeds of contention and to maintain constant anxiety, self-serving and aggressive behaviors, impatience, anger, and unrest. These emotions maintain a frequency of chaos on the planet, for low frequency energies are the vibrations of deconstruction. The opposite of creativity. The higher vibrations of love, peace, understanding, joy, and wonder produce creative and expansive frequencies of coherence.


Recently, I heard on the radio that the United States was evacuating the Cuban embassy because personnel were suffering from the effects of malicious sound transmissions that were damaging hearing and causing mental and physical distress and illness. As I thought about this tidbit of “news” about this alleged acoustic attack (as always, blaming a foreign power for the attack and presenting the U.S. as a target or victim), I also thought about how our poverty-stricken neighborhoods in the United States and their inhabitants are created and maintained. Why is it so hard for people to leave poverty behind? Often psychological theses are advanced. My hypothesis is that these areas are bombarded with very powerful technologies and frequencies that make people incapable of functioning in a healthy manner. By maintaining poverty and violence in certain areas, it is easier to manipulate the more privileged classes and to keep them fearful of those in the “lower” classes.

Cuba acoustic attack


Racism and poverty are intentional techniques of control, as are the creation and maintenance of various social classes and privileges. The entire system is a system of slavery, and no one is exempt, except those who have been pulling the strings all along: politicians, heads of the world’s major religions, the financial system, pharmaceutical and health insurance industries, chemical and petroleum industries, politicians, the military industrial complex.


Those who are behind the scenes playing humanity like puppets are extremely conscious of how the physics behind reality actually works. They know the power of consciousness, and they are fully aware of the true history of humanity as well as the true potential of human beings. They have technologies that are used to control us, to control the weather, to control the planet for their own benefit. Their agenda is to prevent us from remembering who we are. By dividing us against one another and keeping us in fear, they are allowed to maintain not only privilege and wealth, but immense power to prolong a reality which is self-serving and which causes immense suffering to humanity, to animals, to plants, to the planet herself.


We, human beings, have the power to rediscover our sovereignty. This is the whole focus of the new age. When the Bible speaks of an “end of times”, it does not mean the end of the world. It means the end of an era of control and manipulation. It means the end of a cycle in which humans live in codependency, as victims. The new age is just one of many cycles in the infinite expression of realities, which is turn is part of an endless creative expansion of possibilities in matter and energy. We, as human beings, are living in a very special time.


We have the power to remember who we are. It is time to unite, to no longer allow ourselves to be tricked into resisting, resenting, or fighting one another. It is not human nature to be cruel, manipulative, violent, aggressive, murderous. We have been played for many thousands of years, and it is time for us to stop playing that game.


We, the indigos, the starseeds, the forerunners, have come to help humanity to remember your true power. Together, human consciousness unites with that of the planet and the cosmos. This co-creative power brings ease, joy, peace, understanding. We are creative beings. When we stop allowing ourselves to be manipulated as marionettes, we stop and take stock. We think about what we really want to experience for ourselves, for our children, our friends, our neighbors. We realize that all humans, all animals, all plants are conscious beings, not a resource to be used or exploited. That our mother planet is also conscious, waiting for us to work with her.


It is time to human beings to cooperate with one another every day, consciously, on a massive scale. The time is coming soon in which we will meet our relatives from inside the planet, from our galaxy, and beyond. We are not alone. We have been quarantined in a hellish state of victimization and violence for thousands of  years. We have yearned, and we have grown. We have created beauty in the midst of terrible suffering. Human beings are the artists, the poets, the musicians of our galaxy. Sensitive, beautiful beings – it is time to examine your own shadows. To hold those shadows in the palm of your hand, to behold your own beauty as well as your darkness. To let go of that which you no longer need, without blame, self-judgment, or shame.

service to others

The service to self groups are on their way out. The more quickly we unite and intentionally work together for peace, the more quickly we will live in a peaceful world. The acts of terrorism that are orchestrated on a daily basis to keep us in fear will end when we decide to no longer accept that reality and to no longer accept fear as the primary voice of our hearts. The voices that are implanted into our minds will no longer influence us, and the tones and frequencies of chaos from wifi, cellphones, and other technologies will be replaced by better technologies which are in coherence with our bodies and the planet.

false flag

It is up to us to create a better world. A world of wonder, love, magic, peace. While we have free will to experience whatever we wish, it is childish to continue to assert that the collective reality, which is in fact a prison and a slave-ship for all of us, is the only reality on Earth. It is not. We are here to help. It is time to wake up. Time to take your power back, and to take responsibility for what you create, what you experience.


Set intentions for joy, health, peace, love. Be patient while driving on the road. Help others. Be kind and generous with the gifts you enjoy in your life. We are all one being, with one consciousness. Life becomes easy when we enter into the flow of the unified field. No more need to struggle for survival.

lao tzu

Cut the strings and cords that connect you to anyone or anything that keeps you feeling powerless, unhappy, unhealthy. Learn to walk on your own. It is a little frightening, but also exhilarating! It is wonderful to be alive, to be human. We are more powerful together. The disasters that the powers that be have designed to pull us down have unintentionally revealed the true nature of the human being. While the secret technologies manipulate the weather, our minds, pushing people and the planet to create storms and terrorist attacks, we have demonstrated that we will not live in fear. We do care about one another. We have risen up in compassion to help one another – whether it be in Florida, Texas, Las Vegas, Barcelona. People are kind.


Wake up humanity. These disasters are not just happening by chance. They are planned and are very much intentional. Rise up in love. Raise the vibrations of your being to the highest levels of kindness, peace, and understanding. This is what defeats the lower vibrations of selfishness, narcissism, greed, violence, manipulation. This is the new age. It is one of cooperation, peace, understanding, and love. If you want wars and terrorism to end, do not buy guns, or enter into angry protest. Jesus understood the actual power of love. It is a high frequency of vibration that shifts realities, causes the dead to reawaken, the sick to heal. Jesus was a master of physics who could transform realities. He came here to teach us to do the same. It is our turn to transform the hell we have accepted as reality into realities of love, peace, and understanding.


He is not coming back to save us. It is the spirit of unity and love that he represents that has returned in millions of individuals born onto the planet at this time. This is the second coming. It is now. It is up to us to open our hearts and to apply the lessons that we received two thousand years ago. Jesus did not come to be worshiped. He came to teach. His lessons are alive. The truth is that the only reality is love. Love is the creative force of the universe, and it is inside each of us. What will you create?

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I can have the whole box of chocolates: beyond survival to unity consciousness


Dearest readers,

This weekend I am attending a Power Living conference led by healer and spiritual teacher, Patrick San Francesco, from Bangalore, India. Patrick founded the Samarpan Foundation in 2006. According to his web-site, lightmovement.org, Samarpan means surrendering your identity to the universe. The non-profit promotes the values of love, peace, kindness, and happiness by promoting access to education and medical care while promoting equality, animal rights, women’s rights, environmental issues. A slender bearded man with large dark rimmed eyes, a hooked nose, and long dark straight hair that falls over his face like a curtain, Mr. San Francesco is very playful and intersperses his teachings with extremely amusing personal anecdotes.

ice cream

For example, he recounted an incident where a very large, burly and muscular man with multiple tattoos emerged from an ice cream parlor holding two cones, one for himself, and one for his girlfriend. Patrick rumpled his long hair to make himself look disheveled and mentally unstable. He then rushed up to the man, licked each of the cones twice, and laughed with glee. The muscular man, nonplussed, tossed the pair of ice cream cones into the trash while his girlfriend collapsed with laughter. He re-entered the ice cream shop and bought two more cones.


Power Living is about pushing boundaries using love, wisdom, understanding, and peaceful, but also playful behaviors. It is about reading the energy behind words and raising the energy in a room. Without our minds and hearts, we can transform the energetic states of nations, cities, organizations, teams, families, and neighborhoods.


Anyone who is interested in the ascension process and the raising of human consciousness is aware that the dimension in which we currently reside is the third dimension. In this dimension, we feel separate from one another. We manipulate, gossip, compete, and we struggle to survive. In other words, we constantly feel as if there is not enough to go around. If life is a box of chocolates in the third dimension, we worry that if we have been lucky enough to get one chocolate, we probably won’t get the opportunity to select another. Stress, worry, anxiety, and depression abound in the familiarity of our third dimensional world. We often pretend to be happy, but most of the time, we are not free, and we are not enjoying full abundance.


So how do we get access to the full box of chocolates? When I queried Mr. San Francesco about changing careers and moving into purpose, saying “How do we know if we are making a good choice leaving current employment without prospects for another career path?”, he replied that we always have the whole box of chocolates.


In other words, in unity consciousness, everything is always available to us, at every moment. But in the restricted, worry-tainted reality into which we have been conditioned, our survival mind cannot fathom this concept. That full abundance is always present for us. We can simply pick and choose and enjoy whatever experience we would like to live out.


Shedding the skin, the bones, the conditioning of the third dimensional survival mind are our biggest challenge when it comes to the ascension process. Mr. San Francesco claims he is bringing in seventh dimensional energy to his Power Living workshop attendees. He offers 11 celestial gifts. All we need to do is to receive them. There is great simplicity and ease implicit in higher dimensional living. If only we can give up scraping by. If only we can allow ourselves to believe that life can be simple and abundant at the same time. We choose our perspective and by changing the way we examine our experiences, we can find beauty and bounty even in simplicity.

bus stop

And so I ask myself, if I make up my mind to walk into H.R. and resign from my full-time job that pays all my bills at present, I must trust that the universe of which I am a part, offers me every possibility that I am able to imagine for my continued sustenance and enjoyment.

some e card

Mr. San Francesco must have sensed how much I love chocolate. He must have known that I would be intrigued by that metaphor. How miserable do I need to get before the temptation of the box of chocolates becomes too strong to resist? The allure of waking up whenever my body is ready to awaken and to fill my days with painting, writing, gardening already fill my dreams. If only there were no need to pay bills. If only I could be free to share my gifts without the constraint of having to exchange my precious time and freedom in order to satisfy my need for shelter, food, and to provide for my family.


People like Mr. San Francesco live the dream, using their talents to serve others and to raise the vibration on the planet. I pray that I join his ranks to be in service to our beautiful planet, to humanity, to the animals and the plants. I am standing on a precipice, teetering on the edge of the third dimension. Sand and rock are crumbling under my feet. Will I fall, or will I soar?

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Fresh start: new beginnings for a new paradigm


Hello dearest readers,

While I’m working at my survival job (doing editing of airplane maintenance and repair manuals), I listen to YouTube videos about spiritual topics, nature, science, and music to keep my mind creatively focused. It is very challenging for me to do work that is not fully aligned with my personality and purpose.


If you are at all interested in the evolution of humanity to a higher level of consciousness at this critical time in our collective history, then you probably feel something like I do. Needing to be free and to explore my own creative potential in each moment. Knowing I am connected to all that is and creating new realities in that interconnected web of being that is life.


Yesterday, synchronicities led me to a series of videos about living a life of ease and flow, letting go of all attachments to past self-limiting beliefs, letting go of all attachment to Akashic history. Basically the message I was receiving is that humanity is being relieved of the leaden cloak of slavery and sleep that has been keeping us in a limited reality. Now we can pursue our dreams and will not be hindered by any force outside of self.


New potentials are here. Whereas before every time I tried to start an art or creative business where I could use my real talents to make a living (mural painting, portraits of pets and people, container gardens for medicinal plants) somehow I found I wasn’t connected or supported. Was I sabotaging myself with limiting beliefs that somehow I wasn’t worthy of success? Possibly. Why wasn’t the flow of life supporting me? Are things different now?

fairy garden

While I was in Finland a few weeks ago, helping my son get established for university life there, I saw a post on my neighborhood social network from a lady who needed help with a French translation for a hospital report. An intuition told me to offer the translation for free in exchange for help in transitioning to a new career.

tour eiffel

I didn’t know anything about this woman, her life, her career, her interests. I just had a sense of knowing that this is what I should do. When I returned home from Finland, we got in touch, and I met her. It turns out that we have so much in common! We both are writers and editors as well as artists. She also was a professional chef and taught cooking as well as worked as a food writer, PR person for large corporations. Her resume is impressive!


I invited her for dinner last night. It was a little intimidating cooking for a professional chef, but she was very gracious! We have been brainstorming about ideas for a business that we could create together. And she is encouraging me to pursue my painting as a way to make a living. The time has come for me to truly believe that I can make a living using my talents, time, and energy pursuing the activities I love most!


Each work day, I have to wake up between 3:45 and 4:00 am to arrive at work at 5:30 am. I don’t get home until 5:30 pm. This schedule takes a lot out of me, because it leaves me so little free time to pursue creative activities and to refresh my soul and spirit. Today, Sunday, is my day off, and I turned off my alarm clock and slept several hours longer than I usually do. Most days, I can’t remember my dreams.

3 45 am

This morning, dream time took me to a place where I was parking my old Nissan Altima, getting ready to take my dog, Ruby, for a walk. For some reason, I had my laptop in the car, and I was trying to charge it using the cigarette lighter cable. Thoughts entered my dream mind that I should probably slip the laptop under the passenger seat so no one would see it. Then I looked for my purse as I got ready to get out of the vehicle.

laptop in car

It was a pink purse which I haven’t used in a while. I looked inside and saw that my pink leather wallet was slightly torn, gaping, empty, as if someone had forced the zip open to take out the contents. Shocked, I started looking through my purse and saw that all of my credit cards and little pouches containing my driver’s license and other personal items were gone. I was really upset in the dream, debating whether I should still take my dog on a walk or go home and start making phone calls.

pink purse

The drudgery of having to worry about such material concerns and the thought that I had absolutely no cash to buy food were distressing me. I started the car back up, deciding to drive closer to the park where I was going to walk Ruby. Entering the parking area, a small furry animal the size of a cat (but not a cat) with orange fur ran in front of my car. I jammed on the brakes, but I heard it gasp with pain. The sound it made was very human-like. I think I ran over its foot. It ran away, and it seemed to be OK. I parked the car and somehow had a small, child-sized bicycle. I got on the bike to ride it…but woke up shortly thereafter.

furry cat car

This morning, I was thinking about the dream and made the obvious connection to the fresh start material I had been listening to on YouTube yesterday and to my conversations with my new friend about starting one or more businesses together. When I woke up, it took me a minute to realize that the dream had taken place in an entirely different reality than the one to which I had awoken. Relieved, I realized I didn’t have to cancel all my credit cards or apply for a new driver’s license. But my thoughts immediately moved to the concept of a fresh start.


No ID cards, no connections to our banking system means relying on inner resources and on my connection to spirit and the entirety of the human web for my needs. When I connect to that live flow of information, sustenance, and creative power, I get whatever I need instantly. I don’t need the old paradigm anymore, and the dream was trying to show me that if I want to live and flourish in the new reality, I have to let go of absolutely everything I have ever learned, believed, or used for my life and survival in the old energy.

fresh start

It can be challenging to live with an empty purse, but an empty (pink) purse is full of new possibilities! I am looking forward to feeling excitement again about my life. About living not just with the idea of being a creator of realities, but actually living it each moment.

art studio in container

There is an entirely new energy on the planet. It is real, and people are waking up. I can tell when I talk to people. Those who never would have been receptive to certain ideas listen and are much more open to concepts that would have been previously too frightening or far out to contemplate. Most people are beginning to understand that we are not alone in our galaxy or in the universe, and that we have all been enslaved under a system that was designed to keep us separate from self and from one another.


We are entering an exciting new era, full of hope and new possibilities for peace, understanding, creative, and compassionate living. If you have ever had plans and projects that just would not take off or work out under the old energy, it is time to think again, and to try again. The new energy will support you. Just drop the old beliefs and conditioning and start dreaming again!


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Worlds Apart


Hello dear readers,

I have been offline for a while. My son just turned 18 and had his first day of classes at the University of Helsinki in Finland today. It has and continues to be a great adventure for both of us! I just returned to the United States after spending nearly two weeks in Finland, helping my son to get settled there.


When I was 19 years old, as a third year art student at Maryland Institute College of Art, in Baltimore, I too headed overseas to Paris, France to pursue my studies. As I look back at my own experiences as both a teen just beginning adulthood as well as considering my own and my son’s perspectives from a parental point of view, so many thoughts and emotions surface.


Life is so different now. In September of 1986, when I first set out on my own European adventure, there was no Internet to speak of, no mobile phones for everyday people. I was truly on my own, and my family did not come with me to help me settle into my new life. I had to figure everything out for myself. There were advantages and disadvantages to this arrangement. It was a great struggle, but by necessity, I had to find my way. I had to figure out where to live, how to pay my rent, how to find a job and pay my own bills. I had to learn the language and make friends. I had to figure out the bureaucracy on my own and deal with its intricacies over a period of many years. It was often a lonely process. I could not message friends back in the U.S. or lose myself in social media. I spent a lot of time walking the streets of Paris, by day and by night, exploring the city. That was how I coped with the solitude of my condition, especially during the times when I had not yet made friends, or when my friends had left the country for other adventures.


The world is much smaller today, and it is mostly a great thing. I can click on an app on my phone and see that my son is shopping at a grocery store near his student apartment and know that he is OK, even though he is, according to that app, 4,823 miles away from home. When he is shopping, he can message me and ask whether or not he should buy the apple cider vinegar for 4 Euros, or which of the electric kettles for sale is a better choice. There are still a lot of things he has to negotiate on his own, but it is comforting for both him and me to know that we can feel so very close thanks to the i-phone!



My own mother was very fearful of losing her children. By holding us close, I imagine she felt that she would never be alone. It seemed as if she did not want us to grow up and become independent adults. While my brother and sister ceded to her qualms, I could not allow myself to live such a restrictive life, and I cut the cords. It was an either/or arrangement. Either you were part of the family, or you were a complete outsider. I chose freedom, and with that freedom came a large dose of solitude.



I have come to love my solitude, which is not the same thing as loneliness. Yet in today’s world, we, as human beings, are trying to come to terms once again with intimacy. I have allowed and encouraged my only child, my son, to go to live and study in a country even farther away than France. It was important to me to encourage his dreams and to help him to realize his own potential. Was this easier for me to do because of technology?


I have felt concerned as a parent and as a woman what my life will be like now that my son is living so far away. Now I will have more time to devote to my own interests. But because I have been cut off from my own family, this separation is all the more poignant. The technology is making it easier, less painful. I have traveled to Finland, and I have helped my son to decorate his room, to buy the things he needs. We have explored the city together. Without that shared experience, this transition would have been much more difficult.


It has taken a lot of work, much organization and effort to carry off this ambitious project. I am a single parent, and I don’t have a large income or much savings. My son’s father has never contributed personally or financially to his well-being or education. But because my son and I both nurtured this dream and invested our energy and confidence in this vision, we were together able to make it a reality.


This is inspiring to me.  With our thoughts, our emotions, our dreams, we create realities. As a mom, I am ready to restart my own new adventure, just as I continue to support my only son as he takes his first steps as a young adult in a far-off land. It is exciting and a little fearful for moms to let their kids go off into the world. We want to protect them, and often our identity hinges on being a mother. We have poured so much love and caring into our kids. I am very proud of my son, and I am proud of myself for helping to shape the intelligent, creative, caring human being that my son has come to be. We continue to grow together and as individual beings, so close and also apart.


With our new technologies, we mothers of the world are able to stay connected with our kids as they explore the wider world, all while nurturing our own dreams and making the contributions to life and art that we, as creators of realities, have always held within our hearts, minds, and bodies.

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