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Remedies for loneliness: the importance of sharing and intimacy


bright night

Dearest readers,

An unforeseen and preventable tragedy recently occurred in my work place. One of my younger coworkers, M. (aged 27) took his own life during the holiday break. He was a quiet young man. Respectful, thoughtful, intelligent. A model employee who was always on time and who played by the rules. His college major was psychology. He had married in 2018 and on the surface, appeared to have a well-ordered and happy life. He had once shared with me that he suffered from extreme insomnia and had never found a remedy that worked for him. His father, who also works for our same company, is a man of conservative views, and I recently found out that the family are Seventh Day Adventists and that the children were both  home schooled.

bridge

M. liked cosplay, trap music, and Japanese culture. He had a gentle energy about him, and I always felt that he was different from his family, even though I didn’t objectively know much about them or about him. I can always tell if someone is a starseed, and I knew that M. was, though he was completely unaware of the fact, I am certain. Many of our coworkers as well as myself suspected that M. was gay. A people pleaser, he most likely wanted to be a good son and make his family proud. Was the pressure so intense that he suppressed this part of himself, marrying and trying to lead a “normal” life so as not to disappoint those who raised him? We can’t know, and all we can do is speculate.

solitude

However, my reflections on the premature loss of M. from this world and from my workplace (he sat directly across from me), have lead me to a few conclusions.

All of us, as human beings, want to be loved, seen, acknowledged, accepted and celebrated for who we truly are. Most of us are concealing parts of ourselves or pretending to be other than who we are. Perhaps because we feel we are not sufficiently lovable if we are true to our authentic urges and to our original divine template. Every human being on the Earth has been conditioned to adapt to family and cultural values, which means that all of us from early childhood onward, have been forced to repress great chunks of our being, of our deepest urges, desires, emotions and thoughts, burying them deep in our psyches. Shame and conformity play a huge role in social organization and values throughout all of our society’s institutions: schools, religions, government, family, etc.

automat by edward hopper

For every aspect and fragment of self that we repress, we lose energy, vitality, and our lives and communities suffer for this loss…whether or not we are aware of this tragic suppression. When we examine our families, cities, our human communities, we see crime, poverty, duality, racism, illness, depression, anxiety, and people not using their innate creative abilities to bring about the highest outcomes of abundance, well-being, peace, and prosperity for self and others. The truth is that the outer world is a mere reflection of what goes on inside of our hearts and minds. If we learn to heal our own lives, the collective experience of humanity will automatically improve and become more loving, open, and compassionate.

cyber loneliness

In order to heal from all of this suppression, separation, loneliness, polarization, we must return to authenticity and take full responsibility for our own lives and happiness. No one else has the power to make us happy. We each have everything it takes to be whole, to be loved. We are love by nature, and every human being is a powerful creator of realities. We are each the artists and creators of our own lives, happy or unhappy. We choose the life we want by looking inward, by examining each of our thoughts, emotions, integrating, examining what is right and what feels good and discarding what is out of alignment and what feels bad. This is a long and complex process. We can help one another by being more open about our own healing process. As we return to oneness from duality and separation, we end loneliness and despair by being brave enough to share with others.

swirl

To be authentic and whole, we must each choose to learn to be honest and wholehearted. All of the energies that have been suppressed for thousands of years have been rising to the surface in our individual and collective lives to be healed. It is time for the global human community to awaken and to take responsibility for our reality, personal and collective. To take responsibility, we must each be aware of who we are and what we are carrying.

vincent van gogh

 

Once we are aware of all of the suppressed energies and desires, we must learn to integrate them into our conscious personalities and lives. We must give up the images that we create to impress one another and learn to be human once again. I always give thanks for the experiences of pain, suppression, duality, negative thoughts and emotions before energetically transforming their energies into conscious light energy and accepting the new energy and healing into my soul.

faces-paredes

It is difficult to be human. But once we begin to share our troubles, experiences, hardships, challenges with others, we realize that we are not alone. Everyone has challenges in their lives, and our lives are all inter-connected. The flow and grace of the life force, and the intelligence of spirit always puts us within reach of people whose experiences are calibrated to our own, to books, videos, content which is ready, if we so choose, to share the information and emotional support we need to grow and integrate the parts of ourselves we have been suppressing.

girl with demon

 

By sharing and by accepting our own vulnerability, we can recognize our own humanity and that of others. By seeing how hard it is to be human, we can learn to stop judging and envying other people for the lives and abundance they seem to enjoy on the surface and begin to create real intimacy with other human beings. Loneliness ends where the courage to be openly vulnerable begins.

 

The fake joy and prosperity that abounds in images on the Internet and social media is just that: images. People create images because in a world of ego and duality, everything is about power, control, and manipulation. Image or persona is a fake shield that people create and parade to show that they are strong and impenetrable, when beneath this shield, the façade reveals a vulnerable and frightened child who has given away so much of his or her personal power and original authenticity.

syrian mural refugee camp joel artista

In reality, we are always whole and perfect, but we come to Earth to experience what it is to be human. It is a glorious and extremely difficult choice. We choose to live a small portion of our experiences as limited human beings, and this is a powerful choice, because it is so very difficult to be deprived of full awareness of how beautiful and powerful we are as creator beings. We come to Earth where we experience victimization, solitude, pain, disease, longing, war, imprisonment, injustice, hardships of all kinds. But also beauty, friendship, love, generosity, elation, art, music, and the magnificence of nature.

rainbow hands

I believe that no matter what each of us is going through, we are more powerful when we are truly honest with ourselves and when we share with one another in a completely open and authentic way. It is not always easy to share and to be open, because many people are locked down into their solitude. The best way, in my opinion, is not to ask another person what they are going through, but to use your own intuition and share something personal about yourself. You don’t know how this gift will affect another person, but it just might save their life and help them to look at their own life and gifts in a new way.

At work, at school, somewhere in your community or your family, you have been placed where you are for a reason. You have the wisdom, the experience, and the power to help and heal yourself and others just by being yourself and by sharing who you are. We are each a gift, and gifts must be shared to unlock their full potential.

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