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Poor me: race, cognitive dissonance, and personal responsibility for all

triumph of poverty

Dearest readers,

Being human is impossibly difficult. It is a challenge we take on voluntarily. At least that is what I believe, and that belief empowers me and gives me hope for all of us.


It seems crazy to think that I could have chosen the family I was born into and the circumstances of my life (before incarnating in this body that is known as Rebekah in this lifetime). But thinking that all is random and meaningless is simply not an option for me, nor is it for most of us. We all would like to believe that we are here for a reason and that everything happens for a reason.


So how do we explain poverty, racism, discrimination, sexual abuse and slavery, war, scapegoating, bullying, and the myriad fractal forms of darkness present in our world today? Why would humanity collectively and individually choose to experience separation, fear, hatred, hierarchy, manipulation, deceit, lack? And why don’t we all get together and choose love, peace, joy, harmony, beauty, and abundance? Because we do have the power to create the world we want. What do we all want? And what is keeping us from creating a life of love, ease, and beauty for self and for our communities?

Man bench March2015

From a spiritual perspective, and from my personal experience, I believe that harsh experiences break us open, digging deep into our psyche. Pain and suffering give us a choice. We can open our hearts and learn love and compassion, or, conversely, we can contract our intestines until they boil with resentment, hatred, and vicious anger, curl our hands into claws and fists, and generally become a miserable person who wants to bring everyone down with him or her. We all know this person who wants everyone around her to take responsibility for her own helplessness, fear, and pain.


From a very banal perspective, I do believe that our social and cultural constructs are created very intentionally to divide human beings into social, cultural, economic, and racial groups. Some are rich, some are poor. Some are beautiful, some are ugly. Some are powerful, some are weak. By dividing people, those elites in power get to stay where they are and enjoy limitless wealth, pleasure, and freedom while everyone else is distracted by these class, racial, social, and economic divisions.


The relatively wealthy or privileged people in any society are trained to believe that they are somehow more special or more important than those who are designated as less important. Just like in the book and movie series, The Hunger Games, the elites at Capital City at the top of the ladder need a hierarchy to keep their privileges intact. Some of those serving them enjoy a lot of privileges. Some less. Each circle of the slaves is suspicious of the others because of these privileges. This is what keeps the system going, preventing all of the people from uniting and realizing that together they could overpower the elites who use and manipulate them through fear. The Hunger Games is a very accurate description of American culture. It is not dystopian fiction. It is realistic non-fiction portrayed in barely disguised metaphoric imagery.


Therefore, the society itself is designed around a racist and classist construct which incorporates as a necessary ingredient cognitive dissonance. From a spiritual perspective, everyone involved is being manipulated, from the privileged to the poor scapegoat…but people rarely see it, because they want to blame someone and to keep things going as they are. The only way to true freedom is to escape from the matrix and to take responsibility for your own life and not allow yourself to be defined by the program. The wealthy are full of emotional poison. Often, we tend to think only poor people or minorities struggle with emotional issues. The truth is that every human being on Earth has been conditioned by the social program, or the matrix. Some have freed themselves, but only a relative few have done this work. the number of the free is growing, however.  Privileged people are less likely to see the light, because they have less incentive to leave the matrix and find true freedom by discovering the true nature of reality.


It is not easy to take responsibility for your own life and to heal your emotional body from the accumulated poisons that have been injected into you since birth by family, school, media…by everyone with whom you make contact. Freedom from racism, freedom from pain mean letting go of being a victim. You can no longer blame anyone or anything for your problems or for your pain. You do get to recognize the pain and where it came from, and then you can let it go and choose to create something else for your life. Unless you consciously choose to experience pain.

Afghani girl

The subconscious mind is very powerful. When we are living in the matrix and conforming our identity to what we are told we are, whether it be white and privileged or poor and black, all of the pain, resentment, confusion, and lies are stored in the subconscious mind. Cognitive dissonance appears when people find ways of justifying ways of living and behaving towards other people that would otherwise be horrifying and completely unacceptable. Bullies, torturers, racists, those who prostitute or enslave others, as well as ordinary citizens all make liberal use of cognitive dissonance. By treating another human being, who by nature is born equal to all others, as less than self and being able to continue living peacefully with self requires either radical honesty with self, or stuffing that discomfort into the subconscious mind and using cognitive dissonance to make it OK.


In reality, every single human being is equally important and equally valuable. There is no human being who is more powerful or more beautiful than any other human being on Earth. This is truth. The matrix or the social illusion into which we are introduced shortly after birth conditions each and every one of us, forcing us into codependency. Some are powerful, some are victims. We all hate and judge self and others. There is no personal responsibility. We forget who we are. Some suffer more than others, but we have all chosen to be here for these experiences.


I personally believe that the experience of separation (of being a living creature in a physical body for a period of time) is a difficult but powerful one. It seems so real, but it is a game in which we engage. It is a powerful challenge. In separation, it is hard to remember who we are. And who are we? We are all little pieces of the life force that we call God. We choose to separate off from the source creator to live as mini creators or artists of our lives. We are never victims, even though it often feels that way.


A person who is born into poverty, a person who is born black or brown in America chooses a particularly difficult challenge. A person who chooses to incarnate into a family that is alcoholic or that abuses you sexually has also chosen a very difficult challenge. What is the most difficult part of these life plans? Because we don’t remember that our true nature is love itself, and that we in essence are light and love, we feel lonely hurt, and unloved. We go outside of self to seek help, comfort, some way to forget our pain. And so we spiral down into drama, depression, anger, fear, self-hatred, addictions, possibly violence.


How many people who are struggling with poverty, drug addiction are able to see how powerful they really are? How many people who have been locked in closets beaten with extension cords, who went all day hungry as kids with no one to comfort them are realizing how beautiful they are? My guess is very few. But some do get to the other side of pain. Some of us realize that even though our parents did not and could not love us, that we have all of the love we need. No one outside of us can give it to us. We are love. It is literally who we are. No one can take that light or love away from us, once we realize that we are so very beautiful and perfect.


People who are born into privilege have chosen different challenges. They think they have it all, but they are still living a lie. They don’t know the truth –  that abundance is love, not things. It is not outside of us. The truth is inside. Because we are all in separation with an endless variety of stories, we can wonder how many of us will eventually realize that we are all one beautiful being? That human consciousness and love are the true super power of the human being?

light body

So people can continue to react to one another and play out the matrix program, or we can wake up and realize that we are all perfect, beautiful, free, and full of love by nature. Our life is a gift. A poor person born in a ghetto with brown skin is as magnificent and powerful as a person born into a mansion with white skin. There is absolutely no difference between us.

emotional body map

Self love is the key to mastery. Every person harbors darkness in his or her subconscious mind. Every person’s emotional body is covered with wounds and scars. We each have the possibility to let go of the social brainwashing program and to learn to love self and take responsibility for our own life. If we each do this challenging work, we can also heal the collective and even heal our family and ancestors. We can’t do the work for others, but we can all help release negativity, fear, pain, lack, doubt, frustration, anger, violence to make room for more light. We can all take responsibility by refusing cognitive dissonance, refusing to make excuses for bad behavior and lack of love. We suddenly see that lack of love and compassion for others is also lack of self-love. By becoming a beacon of light which expands around self, we inspire others. Light is contagious.

I am love

Today we live in a world that seems full of chaos and violence. It is a world in which people allow themselves to be swirled into a turmoil of manipulation, victimization, blaming, shaming, judging self and others. A little self-love and self-responsibility go a long way. Going inside is the only way to heal the world. I’m doing my work, and I know it makes a difference.

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