an ache in my heart erases the glimmer of trust
which once lit my eyes
peeling the perspective of each day
one an invitation
two a threat
three a choice
a thoughtful reordering of the words
that organize my head
and so I encounter humanity
a checkerboard of sharply contrasted thinking
so many actions without nuance
or a heart-manufactured understanding
The female chimp’s wisdom
searches for fleas and lice
where she senses the potential for violence
While the human shades her eyes
with stripes of denial and opinions
Beliefs carry us out to treacherous oceans
separating us from the wit and web
of the universal we
Is human experience intended for peace and understanding?
I navigate this school with trepidation
and the frustration of physical maintenance
logistics
entropy
While my heart and the picture well of my soul
yearn for the freedom of embodiment to dream
pictures into words
excitement fires the engine
of my heart
reseeds wonder into the tepid
PTSD of my trust-rusted wariness
What is worth my time?
Am I a worthy warrior in pursuit
of the creation of betterment?
Why not settle my worried flesh
and bones into the variation
of experience?
Settle my hand on the contented
countenance of a canine snout
and relax into the unfolding
story of my being
without predetermination’s need
to control the shape and outcome
of me, existence, and its purpose?
In a world where ordinary being
not close to enough
I will settle for the cracked open
perfection point that is me with you
you within me
adamevenevenadam 