Are you alone for the holidays?

Hello readers,

Tradition holds that holiday celebrations are a time for families to come together.  For those whose family ties are broken for one reason or another, and for those of us who live in cultures in which caring for strangers, outcasts, and loners is little important other than symbolically, the holidays can be a lonely time in which a person can feel disconnected and unimportant.  It does seem ironic to me that a celebration of the birth of Jesus is not a celebration of outcasts, renegades, free-thinkers, artists, and loners of all genres.

I really admire Jesus and believe that he is still misunderstood by the majority to this day, and that most likely were he to return that most people would still not understand his messages.  If we did, then people around the world would have long understood and integrated the concept that we are all made of the essence of love, and that we are not separate beings, but rather a swirl of energy.  All that we think, say, or do, affects everyone and everything else.  No one should have to be or feel alone within human society following the true principles of Jesus or Buddha.  We are all needed, we all belong.  And yet…

And so if you find yourself alone during this holiday season, please try to find comfort that for one, there are others like you who also feel the pinch of solitude and the desire for warmth and sharing of affection.  Secondly, you are in good company, for the greatest philosophers of human history know your pain and understand your quest for meaning and connection.  Thirdly, you are loved and loveable and part of the greater equation of life and of humanity.  I know, you would rather have a hug, be included in the celebrations, receive invitations to parties, gifts, cookies with sprinkles.  I feel the same way, and if I knew you, I would invite you to my house and we could all party together, us loners and outcasts.  Just know that most humans do not know as we do the harsh reality of solitude, as well as the inner riches that come from contemplation.

2 comments on “Are you alone for the holidays?

  1. “Just know that most humans do not know as we do the harsh reality of solitude, as well as the inner riches that come from contemplation.” Thank you for this insight ! I’m spending all my holidays alone -not by choice- and while I often feel crushed, there is a part of me that knows on some level that this, too, is a blessing somehow – on a much, much deeper level, a level which is probably foreign to most people.


    • Hi Zella,

      Please know that you are not alone. Even though most people don’t realize it, we are all connected to one another. That is the tricky thing about being human. I do feel sad that you are saddened by this sense of solitude, especially when most people seem so busy with parties, family,rituals, and belonging. It is the most challenging thing in life to feel somehow disconnected, that you don’t belong. I have struggled with this for most of my life, having been cut off from my family, it has become difficult for me to connect to other people. I just want to encourage you and help you to feel and deeply understand that we all need you to be here, and that your unique way of being and feeling is important. Even when you cannot quite see why you are here on this planet, there is a purpose for you. I often think that I am just visiting here from somewhere else…but our job is to help humans to become more sensitive, more compassionate, more aware of our abilities to think and feel deeply. I do hope this helps! (Are you from Finland? My son (he is 14) wants to go to college and to live in Finland…) Best wishes to you, Rebekah


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