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Ode to a Control Freak…a poem


control-freak-quote

Harsh crust seeping bile into a place along the rind of her soul, a lonely girl

seeks support

her bean pole mama distantly busy in the world

Carefully hopeful, sticking pride in all interactions

said girl chooses arrogance to plastic wrap her wounded desires.

Does she ever know she always had a choice?

Ownership of the cactus that has become her body double

she sends out tendrils of defiance

holding everyone within her grasp so tightly they cannot dare to breathe

eggshells on which they tread trembling in her wake.

Red queen better than alone

Her fearful grasp of missing love, she holds onto anything she can intimidate

So scornful is she of those who are not within the power of her terror

The hammer of her vengeance bludgeons her very own baby

Rejected, the child whispers into the breath of the world

becomes silent

Carefully listens to the heartbeat of the universe,

notices the echo of her own rhythm

And one day she finally understands the love she needed was always present

equally, for everyone

Carefully, she opens the door to her cellar

Shrouded in dusty webs, barbs and barriers

Feared monsters of feeling creep, leap and lurch

Trepidation biting her toes, she extends her right hand

she greets them one by one

opening her chest cavity to their pent-up voices

Her new song vibrating with added form and dimension

Their hideously dreaded shapes smoothing her previously crumpled

innocence

into

a bright light

Releasing them each in their own right.

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