Hello readers. As I dig relentlessly into my mind and spirit, like an obsessive-compulsive terrier, I sometimes lift my head and wonder if I am keeping my snout too far down into the ground. What I mean is, am I focusing too much on the shadows of life? Much of living the examined life requires shedding light into our shadowy areas, to regain balance between positive and negative aspects of self. I don’t want to be a Disney princess, all satin, peaches, and two dimensional cliche. And I don’t want to be a Disney villain either, entirely composed of sharp lines, darkness, poisoned apples, and no light or love.
In my everyday life, I am a very calm, cheerful, and contemplative person. I try to slow down and enjoy the minute pleasures of conversation, eating and cooking, and general mindfulness. This requires constant reminders; I have to tug on my own leash to bring myself back to each moment, to remember how grateful I am for all of my particulars. Life, love, and contentment are in the details. When my mind spins into a vortex of worry, it takes me away from my body, from the moment, from the place where I should be grounded. And so, I try to forgive myself and come back home. When I lift off the armor of my mind and brain, I am a very sensitive, emotional, and intuitive being. My heart creates a warm pillow of affection that seeps up my neck to my eyeballs when I stay focused in the moment. I remind myself that I have everything I need, and that I need to be exactly where I am right now. Impatience keeps tugging me away from that place, but if I am truly honest with myself, happiness and cheerfulness are mine when I stop trying to be somewhere else, and something else than I am right now. It is good to cherish dreams and hopes and to work towards them, but while these dreams embody excitement and anticipation, do they really manifest a peaceful form of self-love? Perhaps…I am not sure. One step at a time, a dream becomes reality.
Beautiful, embraceable you. Lovely, huggable me. We are each a fountain of love, a pool of joy, and deep well of light.